2009 - A Year in Review

Every year for the last decade has seen major happenings:

1999 - Chuck graduated from Carleton
2000 - Chuck and I got engaged
2001 - I graduated from Carleton
2002 - We bought our first house and got married
2003 - Ummm....okay I can't remember a major event here
2004 - We embarked on our first (and last) adventure with a Great Dane puppy
2005 - Jack was born and Chuck forever ruined his knee
2006 - Chuck and I both changed jobs
2007 - We moved to our current house
2008 - Ryker was born

With that line-up said, 2009 seems pretty calm. The biggest thing for me has been finding help and beginning my recovering from panic disorder. Six months in and I'm making good strides. I have a long way to go, but am so grateful for having found the therapist I found. I expect that 2010 will be filled with milestones and achievements in this area for me.

I completed a full year in my new role at work, and Chuck found a new job. We all settled into our roles - Jack as big brother and somewhat self-sufficient boy; Chuck and me as parents of two very active boys; Ryker as the entertainment factor. We had to switch daycares, which was sad, but we feel lucky to have found the place we did and the boys seem to be thriving.

The year wasn't without its share of sadness. Chuck's side of the family lost two very special people, both before their time. Both passed within a month of each other, and the family grieved together. We miss Cameron and Wendy terribly.

On a lighter note, new loves were discovered. Jack began a love-affair with combing his hair and spelling, although not at the same time. He loved riding his bike, shoveling snow, and helping cook. Ryker fell in love with following Jackson around, playing with blocks, saying "NO!", socks and shoes, and bananas. Chuck and I became obsessed with the TV show Lost and with sitting around watching our boys be crazy. We also fell in love with our new neighbors.

So thanks to everyone for their love, friendship and support in 2009, and we're looking forward to a great 2010.

Snowmaggedon 2009

Update

Here's the update...

We went through with it. The note from Santa was very nice - saying he knows how much Jack wants the vacuum and he has it ready for him, but that he knows that Jack has been having some trouble with behavior. He said he needs Jack to earn this special present, and he gave him a sticker chart. It only has seven spaces on it, so this shouldn't take long.

Jack did not cry, and neither did I while reading the note to him. It did get his attention though.

So we'll see what happens. I'm feeling like we made a good choice, although I know there will be naysayers out there. Chuck and I think we did the right thing, took advantage of an opportunity to get his attention and let him know that he doesn't get everything he wants WHEN he wants it. And definitely not without behaving.

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even the worst Mommy in the world.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicklaus soon would be there.

And yes, he will be there, only he won't be bringing the vacuum Jack has been asking for the last few months. Why, you ask? Why wouldn't St. Nick be bringing the ONLY thing Jack has asked for? Because Jack has parents that are heartless. We are stubborn. And we are not willing to have our child be selfish and ungrateful, which is exactly how he's been acting the last few weeks. Lots of "you're a bad girl!" shouted at me...lots of hitting and kicking and talking back...and the kicker - I said I wasn't sure what would happen with his presents if he didn't behave and he said, knowingly, "oh, I'll GET presents...." That was the straw that broke our heartless backs. Because he's right. Of course he'll get presents. And withholding any of them wouldn't mean a thing unless we withhold THE present.

So our plan is this...we're going to write him a note from Santa saying that he knows he wants the vacuum and he can get it soon, but Santa isn't pleased with his behavior recently, so Jack will have to earn it.

I was feeling more bad-ass than anything - like we're doing the right thing and teaching him a hard lesson but that it will be worth it. But all day he's been going around telling people that he's getting only one present and that it's going to be a vacuum. And he's so thrilled about that. He said it again before bed. So I left him reading books with Chuck and I came out here and hopped on the internet to find out what stores are open this late on Christmas Eve because I don't know if I can handle the thought of disappointing him like this.

Stay tuned.

Nights You Wish You Were At Work

I had a decently stressful week at work. Lots of plates to keep spinning, new processes to figure out, policies to write, etc. etc. etc. Each night when I went home I was excited to hang out with the boys before putting them in bed and getting back to work. Woe is me, right?

On Friday I ended up looking back at my week fondly and wishing I could just go back to the office instead of dealing with my children. That's when it's bad.

Here's how it went down...

I arrived at daycare around 5:30. Jack was wandering around his room whimpering. His teacher said that he was fine until he got pinched in the gym, and she thought he was being sensitive about it. He wouldn't speak - just collapsed in a puddle in my arms. That made Ryker sob, as did the fact that he kept tripping on the blanket he was walking around with. And I wouldn't let him throw that into the snow. Bad mom.

I loaded them into the car and finally got Jack to tell me that his ear hurt. He screamed the entire way home, as did Ryker, and then MY ear was hurting. But I didn't scream. Not yet. I tried to drown them out with MPR.

By the time I pulled into the garage I had already diagnosed Jack with an ear infection and formulated a plan. I would wait for Chuck to get home from the store and he'd watch Ryk while I took Jack to the Minute Clinic at Target. The flaw with my plan? Chuck was still IN the store WITHOUT his phone. And somehow calling, texting, muttering, swearing and calling back was not changing the situation.

I got the kids into the house - both still puddles. Only Jack was able to identify his pain, so he got my attention. Ryker got thrown into his highchair with a pile of Puffs in front of him. He didn't stop screaming. I held Jack on the couch while he sobbed and shuddered and wailed and made horrific little choking sounds. Still swearing, I bundled the kids up again (remember that it's about 5 degrees in MN this time of year) and loaded them into the car. Ryker punched me repeatedly in the arm as I latched him in.

We arrived at Target and I got the boys into the clinic. Ryker laid on the ground in the waiting area, screaming and rolling around and hitting anyone that came near him. Jack sat on a chair and sobbed, yelling "MOMMMMMMAAAAAAA-AA-AAA-AAA!" repeatedly. I tried to make jokes to the passers-by - all of them - because they were ALL staring and wondering why I wasn't at the ER because obviously both children had just had limbs forcibly removed, right? The little girl sitting in the waiting room looked panicked as she watched my boys destroy the nice little lobby - throwing Kleenex around - dragging books all over and drooling/crying on them - pulling trash out of the trashcan.

Finally Chuck arrived. Amazing how much better that made ME feel. Screw the kids. I took Ryker home and Chuck stayed with Jack, who did, in fact, have an ear infection.

But alas, we're not out of the woods. Apparently "E-Prescriptions" can take up to 45 minutes to get to Walgreens. I could have run backwards to Walgreens and mixed the prescription myself faster than that.

So Jack went to sleep and Chuck went to get the meds. He came back and we went into his room to give them to him. "Wake up, Bud....Bud?...Come on...Get UP!" Took us a good 15-20 minutes to get him to sit up, and then he was sobbing and fighting us off so I had to hold him up while Chuck shoved meds into his mouth.

He awoke at 5am wanting to play and eat and go swimming. And he had NO recollection of the nurse-session the night before.

More About the Songs

I have finally deciphered the lyrics to the Christopher Columbus song (see previous post). It took my 75 year old mother-in-law to figure it out.

Christopher Columbus
Sailed to America
On the Santa Mar-i-a
In 1492
Christopher Columbus
Sailed with the flag of Spain (or something like that)
For King Ferdinand
.....blah blah blah

Jack has been singing this non-stop, including during time-outs, since last week. He also has been singing The National Anthem, which he thinks MUST be preceded by the Pledge of Allegiance. His lyrics are not quite what they are supposed to be. Something about the "lice gleaming." And if he messes up (I'm not sure how he quantifies this, seeing as how he's not saying the correct words anyway), he starts all over with the Pledge.

I think we'll have to teach him how to cover his tracks better if he wants to have a music career, or a reality-show-music-career. It's a dead give-away when you mess up a word and then start all over (with a different thing entirely), although I do admire his persistence.

Performing

We've had a myriad of illnesses in our household this week, and as a result I totally forgot the Holiday Performance at the kids' school. It was Tuesday morning and I was dropping Jackson off alone because Sick Daddy was taking Sick Ryker to the doctor. I walked in, feeling guilty about the Sick Ones, and was asked immediately by one of the teachers "well, aren't you coming back for the performance?" Hello again Guilt. And then "well, he DOES have a solo." More Guilt.

I got in the van and began driving, not sure if I was going to work or not. Guilt. But family comes first, so I went home and did some work until it was time for the performance.

The parents, lots of them, gathered in a large room waiting for the kids. Finally they began walking in, single file. One girl began crying as she glimpsed the large crowd. Their teacher asked Jack to take her in, so he led her in, holding her hand. It was adorable.

The kids sang a bunch of songs and did little hand motions with them. Little kids singing is just about the cutest thing. I was grinning ear to ear, alternately thinking about how much my cheeks hurt and wondering how the woman in front of me had not even been able to manage a smirk.

Then it happened - Jackson stepped forward all by himself. What a big boy he was. His bravery took me by surprise. He sang a line, the group repeated it, and so on until the song finished. He looked right at me as he sang, and held his hands together in front of him. When he was finished he grinned sheepishly and stepped back into line.

Later the big kids sat in the front row on the ground while the toddlers marched in. Chuck had arrived only minutes before with Ryker, who had been cleared to return to school and was promptly lined up with the others and ordered to dance. They marched into the room, stood in one line and danced, rang bells and clapped to about five songs. Ryk did great - didn't move from his spot except for the one time I made the mistake of waving to him and he took off running for me.

Then Santa came, all the kids got presents, and we all headed off for our various jobs. I told my coworkers about how great Jackson was and the first question they asked me was "what did he sing?" I had no idea - I was smiling so big that I couldn't really hear him. Sort of like my wedding - I remember really being happy, but could not tell you what was said. So I made Jack sing it for me that night (and he, in turn, made me play the part of the chorus and repeat his lines after him):

Christopher Columbus (Christopher Columbus) - Came to America (repeat) - On the Santa Mar-i-a (repeat) - in 1492 (repeat)...there was more but he was annoyed that I couldn't understand him so we just did those lines over and over again. The song is forever etched in my brain.

(Pictures are on Flickr, and next year I promise to bring something other than my iPhone so I can get better photos.)

The Invisible Boat

Jack, like most kids, is keenly aware of his surroundings. We are constantly impressed at the things he notices, the conversations he hears and can repeat. We have found a chink in his observant-armor, however.

Tugboat.

Apparently Jack does not notice her at all. She had been down at Grandma Bernice's during our trip and we had yet to go get her. During dinner last night Jack suddenly blurted out "Where's Tug?" We had been home a full two days at this point.

When the kids were in bed, Chuck drove down to Northfield to get her and brought her back, so she was there this morning.

Jack had been out in the living room, with Tug, for about half an hour this morning when he finally turned and saw her and goes "TUGGY!!!!" I said "Jack, did you just now notice that she's back?" and he said "well, someone was licking my feet while I was eating and I was like 'Who's that licking my feet?!'"

Thanksgiving Lessons

Holidays, time with family, and 20 hours in the car give you lots to think about. There were many lessons learned this Thanksgiving. I'll list a few, and you'll have to check Flickr later for pictures (technical difficulties).

• Jack is incapable of "making it" longer than 20 minutes without food.
• Ryker is incapable of sitting quietly.
• Even with dietary restrictions, Kaya and Christi can tag-team to eat pizza - Christi eats the crust and Kaya eats the cheese.
• It will take you 3 minutes to enter the zoo for every 1 person you attempt to go with - that means 33 minutes for us to get in the door. I'm not kidding.
• Related to that - the sliding doors at the St. Louis Zoo slide and ALSO open on a hinge, so double strollers really DO fit.
• Ryker and Jack really, really like hugging and holding hands with Beth.
  
• Josh is Jackson's hero.
• Ryker thinks it's hysterical when you pretend his socks smell funny.
  
• Jackson really likes taking care of Ryker, and will "make him fine." This holds true except when Ryker needs consoling in the middle of the night - at that point Jack will be so passed out he won't hear him crying 1 foot away.
• Chip and Christi aren't worried about their kids getting too close to the Wildlife Refuge that is down the road, mostly because the kids would have to get through the "Crazy Farmer" first.
  
• When it was time to say goodbye, Ryker thought everyone deserved a hug, but that Josh would appreciate a simple wave goodbye instead.
  
• I never laugh harder than when I'm in a room with my family, especially Christi and Beth -- and StL, my mom's house, and Charlie and BJ's always feel like home.
  

Kids These Days

Sometimes we laugh that the kids will grow up knowing all sorts of things that didn't even exist when we were kids; namely the iPhone. They see it and ask to have their picture taken, or play games, or use a picture that you've already taken to draw all over, or ask you to write your friends (or THEIR friends).

And it's great, mostly. Jack and Chuck have had many bonding moments watching different blues guitarists play, or watching Ozzie Smith give instruction to random little kids (check out The Baseball Bunch, if you're bored).

One of Jack's new favorites is playing a game called Paper Toss. I happen to be obsessed with it (again, if you're bored, try it out). You fling this little balled-up piece of paper into a trash can, taking into account the speed of the wind generated by a little fan on either side of the screen. It really is pretty mindless, and usually calming. Chuck has a different opinion of the game, having to endure watching Jack aimlessly toss the paper no where near the trash can. He just sits there flicking the paper straight every single time, no matter the wind. Jack also insists on having the sound turned on, so you hear the fan, and the random sounds of paper hitting the opposite side of the room.

You also hear the random people that talk in the background. At one point, during one of Jack's games, the dude in the background said "So, how was your world tour?" and without missing a beat, Jack says "good." No laughing, no glancing up at Chuck to see what he would think. Just a matter of fact answer.

Does he think that the Paper Toss dude, who you don't even see, would really be asking him real questions? I guess if you can virtually toss e-wads of paper, I guess a random voice here or there isn't that far off base.

A Coup

Chuck and I knew we'd be tested. We knew a day would come when forces would align and attempt to shake our confidence, rattle our sense of security, and try to make us understand who is really in charge.

We just didn't think that that day would come so soon, and that the turncoats would be our pets.

Reese and Tug conspired yesterday to try to get the humans to move out of the house. First, Kitty peed at the bottom of the stairs. We are hardly ever downstairs, but decided to go play ping-pong down there after school yesterday. While we were happily amusing ourselves, Kitty tried to pin us down there with a barrier of gross-ness. I calmly cleaned it up and moved on. Kitty then peed on Jack's bed. She does that when she's mad at us. So we (Chuck) put new sheets on his bed and we (Chuck) made a (not-so-)mental note that it's MY (Jamie's) turn to clean it up.

After getting Ryker in bed, I took a nice long shower and was ready to relax for the evening. I opened the door to our room and noticed a pile of something in our hallway, right outside our room.

My thoughts, verbatim, and in the exact order in which they flowed:

1. "What animal thew up THAT much stuff?"
2. "I should turn the light on so I can get a better look."
3. "Hmmm. It's furry. And has ears..."
4. "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!"
5. "Breathe"
6. "IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY!"
7. "I should totally Twitpic that."
8. "I am NOT touching it."
   
9. "If I leave it, Chuck will come out from putting Jack to bed and trip on it."

I made the decision to go get Chuck out of Jack's room and make him deal with it. I calmly stuck my head into Jack's room, careful not to open the door too wide so Jack wouldn't catch site of the carnage.

Me: "I need to borrow Daddy for a second."
Chuck: "Why?"
M: "You need to get out here."
Chuck: "Why?"
M: "You NEED to get out here."

I switched places with Chuck, carefully, and he stepped into the hallway, paused, and then cracked up laughing, his eyes bugging out of his head.

After we (Chuck) got that all cleaned up, we tried to resume a normal, peaceful evening. But the animals weren't finished. I climbed into bed ready to forgive Killer for her antics, and having almost forgotten about Kitty and HER antics. Then I touched it. Pee. In our bed. On our new duvet cover.

We will NOT be defeated.

Slideshow

I submit for your viewing pleasure - Ryker doing two of his favorite things:

1) Watching slideshows of family photos
and
2) Babbling

Jack Has Coined a New Phrase

The other day I was holding Ryker and kept tipping him backwards and saying "Dip!" - which he found totally hilarious.

After doing this for awhile, I did it one more time -- "Dip!".... and Jack added "...in the sauce."

Chuck and I cracked up. He didn't say it again until yesterday morning. Chuck was holding Ryker and tickling him and Jack said "Dip him in the sauce, Daddy!"

Creative, I thought.

A List: Things That are Cute

Things That are Cute Coming Out of a 4 Year Old's Mouth But You Hope They Don't Ever Say When They are in College:

1) "Everybody get in my bed! We can all get in my bed!"

2) "Hold my monkey please."

3) "I'm pooping!"

4) "I can write my name and all my numbers!"

5) "Can you help me with my pants please?"

Nicknames

Have I mentioned our family tradition for nicknames? Not so much "tradition" as "inability to say names without shortening or making them cutesy." And not so much "family" as "my."

Tugboat: Tug, Buh-boh, Fatty McPancakes, Barfboat, etc.

Reese: Kitty, Reesy Piecy

Ryker: Ryk, Ryky, Ryky Bike, Rock, Little man

Jackson: Jack, Jack Attack, Jack Jack, Bud...and the newest addition, and reason for this post...Michael Jackson.

Jack's friend Chucky calls him Michael Jackson - all the time. "Michael Jackson - come over here!" "Michael Jackson - wanna play with me?" "Did you see what Michael Jackson just did?" He doesn't laugh or smirk or anything. I think he might think that's his real name.

Halloween 2009

Well, we successfully navigated another Halloween. We carved pumpkins (Jack put two faces on his - creative, I thought) and roasted the seeds.
Jack wanted to be a flower for awhile, but then got into the costume store and picked Spiderman instead. Like half of the other boys in America. We ultimately decided to let Ryker be a construction worker, mostly because we have the costume at home and he loves it.
So we got all dressed up yesterday and opened our door - to the screams of Chucky, who lives up the street from us. He was yelling "Come on Jackson! GET OVER HERE!" He was standing in his yard screaming at us to hurry up so they could get started. Chucky and Jack are buds...
...and they drag Samantha (Chucky's sister) and Ryker along for the ride. Here are all 4 as we set out.
Our neighborhood isn't that into Halloween, which sucks. But while the adults were disappointed and recalling Halloweens from our childhoods where we came home with pillow cases FULL of candy, the boys didn't have anything to compare it to, and were quite content with their little piles. Ryker was in the stroller, as there is no way he'd keep up with the big kids and something about his costume kept making him fall over. He seemed fine strolling along, but I thought he should have at least one chance to Trick-or-Treat, so I got out ahead of our pack and let him out of the stroller. I gave him his bag and helped him up to the door. He sceptically held out his bag and watched as the lady dumped some candy into it. Then he turned around and fell face-first into the lawn. Back into the stroller.

We ended up over at the neighbors house, the ones from my Wally and the Beav post. They throw a good party! I was so engrossed with the Halloween-themed food and keeping Ryker from crawling into their fireplace that I forgot to check in with Jack. When I went outside I saw my very own Spiderman chasing some other kids with a gigantic log. I told him to get back here immediately, and to put that log back where he found it. He walked over to the firepit outside and threw it in the flames. More gray hairs for me. A few beers in the garage and football on the TV helped me forget all about it. All in all a good night though.

(More pics on Flickr)

Wally and the Beav

I had this moment on Sunday when I thought I really might be living in some sort of idyllic family sitcom. Actually, several moments.

I was making a casserole (or "hotdish" as we call it in Minnesota). Ryker was in his high chair having a snack while Jack was helping Chuck in the garage. Then Jack went over to the new neighbor's house and it hit me - I could step onto our deck and yell into the neighbor's yard "Jackson - come wash up for dinner!" Of course, to really look like June Cleaver I would have to change out of my sweats, shower, curl my hair, put on makeup and (buy and) don an apron. But still, my kid was over at the neighbor's. Maybe all of you have already experienced that, but I hadn't. Jack's always in our yard, playing with us.

It really was a surreal moment for me. I put the hotdish on a timer, bundled Ryker up and walked over there to meet them myself (Chuck already had so we knew they were safe and all). I was still unshowered and in sweats and Ryker had mashed potatoes in his hair, but I thought it was more important to go meet them than to look pretty.

As if we weren't already living in some fantasy-neighborhood-world, two more neighbor kids came to join the fun, so we ended up with eight kids and six parents in the yard watching the kids play in a leaf pile, throw a football, ride on the tireswing, and be pushed around in a wheelbarrow. It was SO FUN. And when it got dark we walked back to our house, unbundled and sat down for Tator Tot Hotdish warm from the oven.

I think I've mentioned this before, but when I was a freshman in high school my English teacher berated me for an essay I wrote about my dream life. I said I wanted a white house with a white picket fence - the "American Dream." I really did want it, only at that time I didn't know the house would be a beige rambler in Minnesota with hotdish in the oven. And I forgot to add the part about the awesome neighbor kids.

Live and In Person

I've been getting some flack for not having enough videos up, so here is one I took today.

This is Ryker dancing and walking backwards. (Walking backwards was only accomplished today, so this is the first anyone has seen it.)

Try to contain your excitement. This sort of thing is REALLY entertaining when you've been home with him on and off all week. We need to get out.

Baby Book Type Things

Thought I'd better do a post to chronicle what the kids are up to at their current ages.

Ryker - 16 months

Likes: Dipping his socked-feet into Tug's water; walking around carrying things; being chased by Jackson; eating; pushing his lion around; blowing his nose; dancing; rocking on his rocking-cow; rearranging our kitchen drawers; helping to shut the dishwasher; the theme song from CBS Sunday Morning

Dislikes: Being fed the wrong food; getting stuck somewhere; diaper changes; when we tickle Jack; being kept away from the big kid toys

Jackson - 4 years

Likes: spaghetti with butter, Parmesan cheese and corn; sharpening pencils; using a three-hole-punch; drawing octopuses; cutting paper into very small pieces; saying "do you know who I am? I'm J-A-C-K-S-O-N - Jackson"; riding his bike; pumpkins; helping Daddy

Dislikes: Mommy working late; any food that's green; gatherings that don't include kids; going to bed

Birthday Presents

Today was my birthday. Here's how it went down.

I awoke to Jack whispering Happy Birthday to me. Then he went away and I faded back into sleep. I awoke again to him pushing a card into my face and turning on the light on my nightstand. The card had princesses on it and said Happy Birthday to the Prettiest Princess in the Land (it's at work so I can't remember the exact phrase, but that's pretty close). He had written his numbers in it. And it had glitter.

I went to work and figured my coworkers would forget my birthday because it's a CRAZY busy time right now. So I was prepared. But I got in and they immediately swarmed and brought in pastries and sang to me. They fed me lunch as well, and a cupcake for dessert. Several tried to boost my immune system as well, which is sweet (several packets of Emer-gen-c, cough drops, etc.). I think they really don't want me bailing on our big Gala this weekend.

On my way out of the museum I stopped by the event that was going on and was toasted by a few colleagues and given a sip of Vodka (hard-core coworkers).

Then I came home and Jack made me a few art projects and talked about my birthday a lot. Ryker fell asleep while I was putting him to bed, so I got to rock him and hold him and cuddle.

I just ordered some yummy Italian food and am watching reality TV and am, in general, a happy happy camper.

Thanks to all for making my day a great one.

Ummmm....

So I asked Jack what he wants to be for Halloween. I wasn't sure what I expected him to say, but it definitely wasn't this:

"A FLOWER!"

Ummm, okay. That's really sweet. The only problem with that, I'm finding, is that they only make them them for girls - complete with tutu bottoms and sequined tops.

And I really want to be the mom that lets her boy wear that to school and off to Trick or Treat. But I know the kids at his school, and they'd make fun of him. He's taken some ribbing recently for sucking his thumb, so I can only imagine what the kids would say to him if he came to school in a tutu.

--Filed under Moral Dilemmas of a Liberal Mom

Things I Learned At Work on Friday

1) People aren't nearly as surprised to have you deliver champagne to their doors as you might anticipate.

2) If you overrun an address, you're likely to end up driving straight onto a golf course.

3) Finding the house is only half the battle - finding the door is the other half.

4) An iPod and TomTom can solve most any problem.

5) Your need to pee is in direct proportion to the availability of a bathroom.

6) Some people will have no time for you - some will invite you in for coffee, a coke and chocolate and want your opinion on the upcoming exhibition, their grandchildren, and Vermeer's career. You will only have opinions on two of those.

7) Some neighborhoods will confuse you and label two houses as 6501 - and they will be across the street from one another.

You Know You're a Parent When...

...you try to take a moment for yourself in the bathroom, only to have your 4 year old stand outside the door cheering "Come out now! Come out now!" with a megaphone and pompoms.

Do You Ever...

...feel like you are being chased around by a highchair?

No?....No one?...Just me?

Well, it's because I AM BEING CHASED BY A HIGHCHAIR - every time Ryker is hungry. He can't verbally communicate as well as he wants, so he finds other methods. Like pushing his highchair into whatever room I am in and then RAMMING it into me. Over and over and over. And the whole time he is repeating "want DEEESE!!!"

Epiphanies

I don't know where Jack gets this stuff. But he has had a few epiphanies recently.

1) Daddy knows all the names of every single person who has ever sung a song. (He's probably right about that one.)

2) There's no hugging in baseball (said while watching the Vikings hug after their win - in football).

3) He doesn't like the poster of Olive Trees I brought home from the museum. He prefers his own art, which is "bery pwetty." And he won't draw humans except Dora, and no animals except octopuses.

4) We can play music very loudly in the car, but only if Ryker isn't in there.

5) If you do one thing wrong, you can't ever play with him ever again. Zero tolerance.

6) He's allowed to pick up Ryker by any means necessary - including by his ears.

Then I had one:

For the last few weeks Jack has been telling me about this thing/person/animal/noun-of-some-sort that he has some kind of interaction with at school. I couldn't really understand what he was saying, but more importantly, I couldn't understand the noun's name. I thought he was calling it Piper. He puts random w's in words all the time, so when he kept repeating "pwiper" I assumed it was Piper. This made him FURIOUS. I eventually got him to provide me with an important nugget of information - this noun is a character on Dora the Explorer. So I looked it up on Wikipedia. The noun's name is Swiper, and he's a fox that wears a mask and steals things. Go figure.

Choosing

Yesterday, in the car...

Jack: "I run really fast. I can beated other kids when I run."
Momma: "Yes, you run pretty quickly. And faster than some kids. And probably some other kids might run even faster."
J: "I run faster than Daddy."
M: "Oh yeah?"
J: "Yes, but he can run fast. He just CHOOSES not to run fast."

4 Years

I have already shared Jack's Birth Story, and as much as I think I'm entitled to tell it OVER and OVER again, I'll spare you.

I was thinking last night that not only was Jack born 4 years ago, but Chuck and my new roles as parents were born as well. How different our lives have become. It's hard to remember how we spent all of that free time, what it was like to eat a meal without getting up five times to retrieve some portion of a kid's meal, how free our arms must have felt to not be carrying a bowling ball, oops, child with us all the time. But moreover, it's hard to remember back to a time when we didn't have these awesome little people in our lives.

Four years ago today we were born into parenting. And right away we were pretty darn good at it (in my humble opinion). In the hospital I dubbed Jack "quizzical" and I think anyone who knows him now would say he's still that way. Chuck figured out within a day how to best soothe the fussy baby, and although my memory is a bit foggy, I believe the bounce-the-child-until-they-somehow-fall-asleep method was born there too. Within an hour I was feeding and nourishing another human being.

Some parenting skills have needed more fine-tuning. It took us two full years (and a lock on our door) to get Jack to sleep in his own bed. We went through several versions of time-outs before we figured out what worked for Jack. We learned the hard way not to share details of things until they are set in stone, that you should never turn your back on a toddler with blue chalk, and that it's okay to just leave the room when we're frustrated. We learned how to make everything seem like it was Jack's choice from the beginning. We learned, or rather reinforced an existing belief, that laughter can solve almost anything, and that we need to take every chance to tell him how proud we are of him, and how much we love him.

So today I say Happy Birthday to my sweet boy, and Happy Birthday to Chuck and me as well. I hope we continue to learn from and love one another for a VERY long time.

Birthday Parties

A few observations from Jack's birthday weekend:

1) The same group of children produced twice as much noise this year as they did last year. With age comes volume?

2) Four year olds pick strange cakes. Jack insisted on blue flowers.
3) A balloon popping is terrifying to people under the age of 3 and over the age of 7. Anywhere in the middle and it's hysterical. I don't have pictures of this, so you'll have to trust me - or try it for yourself. We have half a pack of birthday balloons that seem especially well suited to this challenge, if you want to borrow them.

4) Family members from out of town (Grandmommy, Grandpa, Uncle Ry Ry, etc.) are infinitely more fun than your own boring parents.
5) Blowing things up is fun for all ages. And brothers have to dress alike.
6) Hats are funny. Walking with hats is even funnier.
More pictures on Flickr.

Innocence

Two examples of Jack's innocence:

1. In the car today, singing together to Michael Jackson...

Jack: "Momma, my voice is bery different than yours is."
Momma: "That's right."
J: "Bery different."
M: "Yep, it's different. Everyone has different voices. And we all look a little different too. No two people look or sound exactly the same."
J: "Yes, but everyone has to have white teeth. If they don't keep them that way, they will fall out."

2. Yesterday, while sitting on the stool in the corner of my dressing room at J Crew...

Momma: "Jack, do you know what I'm doing?"
Jack: "No."
M: "I am trying on these dresses so I can order my dress for Beth's wedding. I have to find out what size I'll need to order so I'm trying on some similar ones."
J: "....And what size dress will I be wearing?" (he's the ring bearer)

Restaurant Worker Fail

Not-Knowing-When-To-Let-The-Parent-Strategically-Omit-Things-From-The-Menu Fail

Server: "What does he want to drink?" (looking at me and talking about Jack)
Me: "Jack, do you want milk or water?"
Server: "Or a Coke, or Sprite, or Root Beer?"
...later...
Me: "We'll take a kid's ice cream for him."
Server: "What kind?"
Me (with Jack's input): "Vanilla"
Server: "And whipped cream and a cherry and hot fudge and caramel?"

Time-Lapse Fail

Hostess: "How many?"
Me: "Three and a booster seat" (said while pointing at Ryker, who I'm carrying)
H: "Follow me"
(walks 20 feet to a table)
H: "Does he still need a booster?"
("No, lady, in the last 7 seconds he grew two feet and developed the impulse-control necessary to not jump off the chair to get something he sees on the ground.")

Icon Mix-up

Over vacation Jack took on a new chant.

"Hannah Montana, Hannah Banana, Dannah Habana...."

He avoided all attempts for us to figure out where he heard about Hannah Montana. This last week at home he kept bringing it up, and yesterday we were determined to get to the bottom of it.

Mom and Dad: "Jack, where did you hear about Hannah Montana?"

Jack: "I don't know."

M&D: "Well, do you know who that is?"

J: "Yes, it's that girl from vacation."

M&D: "...."

J: "You know, on our way to St. Louis at that playground and she was sitting on a bench."

St. Louis Vacation - Part 2

Okay - I left off at Friday evening...

We went out to eat at Stir Crazy, where Jack learned to use chopsticks and the thrill of watching chefs light food on fire. Ryker learned about edamame. He also tried to convince Chuck and me to share our wasabi salmon and curried chicken. The kid will eat anything.

Saturday was the big engagement party for Beth and Nik. It started with a bus tour through St. Louis (Ryker and I missed the festivities, as he napped through it). Jack and Chuck had their first trip to the top of the St. Louis Arch, and Jack experienced his first Ted Drewes' frozen custard (an StL tradition).

That night we had a fantastic dinner at ~Scape in the Central West End. Jack and Ryker donned button-up shirts, which Jack referred to as "work shirts" and had the best mac n' cheese of their lives. Seriously, it was amazing. Our food was great too, and the company was even better. Nik's family is so much fun and we had a good time getting to know each other.

The next morning brought brunch at BJ and Charlie's (aka Gaga and Papa's) house. The Karlsson clan watched in amazement as we ate our body weight in Gooey Butter Coffee Cake. Then the highlight of the weekend - Nik and Beth had put together a 15 minute slide show of pictures of both of them growing up and their time together in LA. It was amazing and brought most of us to tears. It paid tribute to those who aren't with us anymore and brought us closer to the future in-laws by sharing a glimpse of what it was like growing up a Karlsson (looked like fun!).

That night we brought Pasta House in to my mom's house and tired out Gaga, Papa and Beth with our crazy kids.

We decided to do the trip back in one day, not wanting to prolong the agony of road trips with really, really...ummm...vocal and expressive children. It was a huge success, and I'm not even being sarcastic. We stopped at a rest area that had a barn, which Jack was convinced would sell cows.

When we got home Jack ran in and exclaimed over and over "it is soooo gooood to be hoooome!" Ryker immediately grabbed the kitty's tail and exclaimed over and over "want DIIIISSSSS!"

It's good to be home and I'm so looking forward to seeing the whole crew together again next summer at the wedding.

P.S. Pics from the adventures are up on Flickr, link to the right.

St. Louis Trip - Part 1

I'll take this moment of not-so-quiet, wherein my children pretend to nap, to catch everyone up on our travels. We left Monday morning on our drive to St. Louis. We broke up the trip and stayed the night in Ottumwa, Iowa. Jack saw the hotel pool and said "I can't even BELIEVE they have a park indoors." We swam, tried to put a wetsuit on Jack AFTER he was wet (not a good idea), had dinner, and got settled for the night. We conned my mom (who we were caravanning down there with) into staying in the kids' room.

The next day we drove the rest of the way down to the Lake of the Ozarks. We passed many amusing signs/bumper stickers ("Wrangler butts make me nuts," "Come eat at the Poop Deck") and were invited to eat at an astonishing, for the Ozarks, number of "Asian" restaurants (Touch of Asia, Taste of Asia, Asian Cuisine).

We got down to the lake and settled into our condo (Charlie, BJ and Beth were staying in theirs and we had one in the same building.) It took Ryker about half an hour to eat sunscreen and then dump it all over the floor, get cleaned up and put into a swim diaper and then poop in that, leaving him with no more swim diapers but very protected chin and cheeks. We went swimming and had dinner at the Kellys. After the kids were asleep Chuck and I ran to Target for a few essentials and then stopped at Randy's (not to be confused with Andy's across the street) for frozen custard. We sat outside under the yellow bug lights and hundreds of dryer sheets (picture on Flickr), nose-to-nose with the SUVs and pick-up trucks parked in front of us, in which all of the other patrons were sitting and eating their treats.

The next day my mom's friend Genie brought her pontoon over to the dock by our condos and we took a boat ride. Jack was VERY nervous (pictures to come) and held on tightly to BJ's arm. She couldn't really feel her fingers, but the scenery was nice. Ryker looked a little like a drunken sailor and quickly fell asleep. We puttered around, looking at all the huge lake houses, about half of which were for sale. We ate at a restaurant, tooled around a bit more, then headed home. I neglected to put enough sunscreen on Ryker (ironic, after he almost ingested it the night before) so he looked like a leper. Or a really messed up raccoon. I also didn't have enough on myself, so I'm a bit charred.

On Thursday we came back to St. Louis. It's a three hour drive so we broke it up by stopping at a McDonalds Playplace. (Note to any adult thinking that it might be fun to get up there with the kids: It's not. It's not big enough for you. And it's dirty. And babies can't navigate on their own so you'll have to hoist them through 2-foot-high climbing areas. And your preschooler is not capable of taking your baby down the tube slide by himself. And slides aren't slippery, so you'll just sort of stutter your way down the slide yourself and then your shorts will hike up and you'll get to the bottom and your husband will be taking pictures and laughing so hard he's crying. So just skip it.)

We got Imo's (one of my favorite pizzas on Earth) and after the kids went down Chuck and I went to a movie! Exciting.

Today we met my friend Taylor at a park for lunch and let the kids run around. Now we're back at my mom's trying to rest. The kids aren't as into that as we are. Wish us luck!

TVs Are Confusing

For months now, Ryker has put up with Chuck and me urging him to say hello to people when we greet them. It's cute to see him wave. Now he happily waves at people as we leave school, people mowing their grass, people taking walks, and at the three of us as we sit around our house.

The concept of polite greetings has been grasped, but the concept of TV has not.

I had golf on the TV this afternoon (it was that or infomercials) and Ryker was sitting in my lap. A man made his putt and waved at the crowd, and therefore at the camera. Ryk beamed up at the TV, waved and yelled "HI!"

If I Was Ryker

If I was Ryker, my day yesterday would have consisted of two things.

The first would be asking what everything was and saying I wanted it. Really, when you think about it, you could probably get through most of your day with only those two phrases.

"Wha-dissss?" to the person at the bakery.
"That's a blueberry scone."
"Want disssss" (pointing at it) - "Want dat" (pointing at coffee). I'd be set.

The second part of my day would have been making the mistake of taking 2 or 3 steps un-assisted, WHILE AT DAYCARE. The mistake inherent in that is that I would then be repeatedly stood up and my toys would be placed just out of reach so I had to walk to get them. But just to show them all, I wouldn't go get them. I'd sit down and cry instead.

Preservation

Without another mechanism for bottling up and preserving my feelings about today, I thought I'd blog about it.

Today was great. Nothing too extraordinary - no huge vacation taken, no major milestone achieved. Just a good solid day where I was really happy and so proud of my family.

We woke up and had to hustle to get out of the house. We had promised to spend the first half of the day helping our new childcare move to its new location. Jack started off a bit rocky - but found his kazoo behind a picture on a shelf and then found his sock in the back of his underwear, so life was good. ("Momma - that was two AMAZING twicks!!!)

Ryker hung out with Grandma Bernice while Jack, Chuck and I went to the move. We felt good about helping, met parents we hadn't met yet, and loved the new space. And Jack REALLY enjoyed helping move. He brought his "big strong muscles" and really did help - he carried boxes and bags and chairs and toys. And every time I asked him if he wanted a break he said no, that he wanted to keep going. He was the only kid there helping.

We came home, took short naps and then played for awhile. Then we went out for dinner at a local place we love but haven't been to in awhile. It has a ridiculous salad bar and lots of other yummy food. The boys were amazingly well behaved and drew compliments from perfect strangers (who also thought they were 5 and 1 and a half).

On the way home we put on I've Been Working on the Railroad, which Jack and Chuck and I sang along with loudly. Ryker clapped to the beat, giggling the whole time and attempting a few notes of his own.

Home again, we got through the bedtime routines with no drama. Jack came in to say good night to Ryker and was worried about why Ryker's ear was red (from how he was laying on me). "Do you think he might need me to kiss it? Kiss. There. I love you Ryker....I love you Momma." And off he went to bed.

Ryker read Goodnight Moon with me and tried his hand at the quiet old lady who was whispering "hush" - putting his finger up to his mouth and blowing loud, wet bubbles. Close. Then he dove towards his crib.

Night night to a good day.

Literal

We were driving home yesterday and I was yawning uncontrollably. I said "I'm sleee-pyyyy. You can call me 'Sleepy Momma'."

Pause.

"Umm Momma, I mean Sleepy Momma, I'm hungry."

He's Just Not That Into Me

I was (re)tucking Jack into bed last night and I told him that I love him very much. I told him never to forget that.

"I do forget that sometimes, when I'm at school."

How sad, I thought. My baby gets to school and thinks that I don't love him anymore!

"Well Jack, when you are at school, you just think about me and think 'Momma loves me very, very much.' Just keep thinking about that and think about me giving you a kiss and a hug and telling you how much I love you. Okay Bud, can you do that? Because I love you very much and I love you all the time, forever and ever."

He patiently listened to me rant and when I had stopped, he broke the news to me.

"Okay Momma, but I don't think about you while I'm at school."

Jack's Rules to Biking

Jack has developed some interesting bike safety habits with his big boy bike.

First - after taking a spill on our driveway, he insists on walking his bike down to the end and then getting on. Our driveway is not that steep, I promise.

Second - he wears his helmet anytime he thinks he MIGHT want to bike. That includes at the water park, inside during his snack, while playing with sidewalk chalk, and during meals outside.

Third, and my personal favorite - whenever he sees a car coming, no matter how far away, he stops his bike and rings his bell until they pass him. Then he triumphantly yells "they SAW me!"

Jack-isms

Time for another installment of Jack-Isms (@ 3 years, 10 months):

• "Hah-bent" (Event)
• "Talkers" (Speakers - as in the speakers I have at my Hah-bents at work.)
  
• "Peanut butter and sanwich" (PB&J)
• "Bee Smorning" (This Morning or Morning - never just says "morning")
• "I trust you!" (I promise!)

And a bit of his monologue in the car home yesterday:

"Momma, I was on the pwaygwound and DaHoosh was up there - you say "Da" (waits for me to repeat "Da") "Hoosh" (waits for me to repeat "Hoosh") - DaHoosh - and DaHoosh was up there and den he pushed me off! I didn't do NUFIN' to him and he pushed me! And I cried and cried a wittuwl bit and I didn't do NUFIN' back to him and I told da teachers. And I WAS DaHoosh's fwiend but den he PUSHED me. So I'm not his fwiend anymore. (I interrupt to explain about second chances.) But if any dose kids push me eighty-forty nine times den I won't be dem fwiends anymore...DaHoosh used to wisten a wittuwl bit but den HE PUSHED ME...But I wisten. (I interrupt to ask who else listens.) Ummm, mostwy just me. And Natawie twies to wisten. She almost wistens. And Miss Mari and Ester and Miss Jean and Miss Pwistie wisten."

Does He Need Gloves?

Several people have commented recently on how funny one of Ryker's habits is. I thought I should put it on the blog, even though Chuck and I hardly notice it anymore. Everyone else seems to think it's hysterical.

About a month or two ago Ryker began putting shoes on his hands when he crawls around. He crawls to wherever he sees shoes, then picks a matching pair and comes back into the living room with them on his hands. He'll go back awhile later and trade them out for a new pair. He doesn't discriminate either - he'll wear Jack's Crocs, then my heels, then my flip-flops, then Chuck's running shoes.

Not sure what the deal is with that, but he likes it and it entertains our guests. The only drawback is you have to go hunting for your shoes when you are trying to get ready. We've found them in very strange places. He once put Chuck's shoes in the bathtub.

The Flip Side

Here's the other side to Jack - the side that makes it so hard for us to see him being mean...

The other night I was tucking him (back) into bed and he says "Momma, I blew a kiss through the wall to you and Ryker. I sent it through my blue wall and through Ryker's white wall to you guys. I tried to send a hug but it didn't work."

You Know You're a Second Child...

(Part two of what will, I'm sure, become a recurring topic. Part one is here.)

You Know You're a Second Child If...

...your mom is so concerned with your older sibling's safety (Is the helmet tight enough but not too tight? Is the strap under his chin secured correctly? Is the bike with training wheels sturdy enough? Is the child going to be able to use the brakes properly?) that she leaves you in the stroller, not buckled, with some cereal to occupy you and doesn't even notice when you stand straight up on said stroller all by yourself. And you stand there and stand there and if you had moved at all you would have sent the stroller rolling down the driveway. And you don't have a helmet, or shoes or anything that would cushion your fall. And instead of your mom being proud of your fantastic accomplishment (STANDING on something that's a tad wobbly), she yells at you to sit down!

The nerve.

Terrible Twos-Through-Threes-Going-On-Fours

Okay for real. I know people say that your kids are like karma - if you were an obnoxious child then you get obnoxious children as payback. But Jack is paying us back for something we really weren't ever. I was a good kid, damn it, and so was Chuck.

Jack is giving us a run for our money. And he has been since he was about two and a half.

Tonight was a good example. On the way home from a nice time at the park, Jack did the following, in no particular order:

1) Called me ugly
2) Hit me with a stick
3) Ran away from me and up the street
4) Bit me
5) Laid down in the middle of the street
6) Bit me
7) Kicked me
8) Bit me

He had a timeout on our neighbor's curb, during which he continued to bite me and kick me until I held his hands and feet down. Then we got home and he was sent to his room to calm down. I took away every toy he has. We had a heart to heart, after which I thought he was going to be a good boy.

I was wrong.

"I wish I didn't have a mom."

Wow.

So when, exactly, does this turn from a tantrummy toddler to a kid who might end up on the evening news?

Touchy-Feely

My cousin-like-a-sister Beth is in town for work. We gave her a home-cooked meal and as much love as one human can possibly take in.

Jack was especially enamored with her. He hid the entire time we were in the car bringing her to our house (that's what he does when he's smitten with someone). Then we got home and he went through the standard showing-off period. That quickly turned into "Bef's gonna sit by me at dinner!" and then "I want Bef to come into the bathroom with me" and then "Bef - watch me in the bath!"

Ryker was slower to warm up, being alternately consumed with his teeth that are coming in and which shoes he needed to wear on his hands while crawling. But when handed over to Beth, he immediately laid his head down on her shoulder and gave her a big hug. He continued to dive into her arms every time she was near him.

Jack made Beth read books to him before bed. He leaned on her and laid his head on her shoulder. When I told him it was time for me to take her to the hotel, he insisted on many, many, many hugs. He told her that she will forever be "Hug Bef" and that when he gets older he wants to live with her and wear her dress. Huh? He said that he wanted her to sleep on his bed. He also sort of half-fist-bumped her chest. Again, no idea.

As if that wasn't enough, we were standing in the living room about to leave and Kitty kept reaching out and pawing at Beth, purring loudly and forcing Beth to pet her. Tug was already holed up in the garage because she's too forceful in her attempts at affection.

I guess we're a slightly lovey-dovey house.

Monday

I picked Jackson up from school yesterday and as we were walking down the hall I asked him if he knew what Daddy told me during the day.

With a grin, he said "that it was No Tear Drop Off Monday."

He has cried every single time we have dropped him off at the new school (that makes 24 days, but who's counting?).

Hooray for Jack!

Milestone Weekend

My little boys are growing up and there doesn't appear to be any way I can stop that. So Chuck and I decided to really embrace it and go all out this weekend. Here are the milestones our boys achieved (more pictures are on Flickr):

1) Jack got big boy shoes:
2) Ryker got to turn his carseat around and face forward:
3) Jack moved into a big guy bed (his big boy sheets are a skull and crossbones and say Skurvy - he asked me if "that doggie's name is Skurvy":
4) Ryker got his first tough-guy owies:
Ryker also got whole milk and a bunch of other foods he's never had. He is VERY fond of all of them, especially nectarines (above) and chicken.

And finally, here's our big guy in motion:

Enormity and Barking Pwearls

Okay, I'm going to say just ONE MORE THING about Ryker's size but then I promise to tell a story not involving the enormity of my children.

We got some paperwork from our doctor's office, including the 12 month visit summary. Included were the growth percentiles for Ryker. We knew he was above the 95th percentile, but didn't know exactly where he came in. Here is the summary:

Weight: 99.21% of growth percentile based on weight-for-age
Length: 95.21% of growth percentile based on length-for-age
Weight for Length: 99.48% of growth percentile based on weight for recumbent length
Head circumference: 99.37% of growth percentile based on head circumference-for-age

So....yeah....

Anyway, my funny story...Last night Jack was throwing a gigantic tantrum. Just screaming and yelling and sobbing. "I can't brush my teeth!" "You're a BAD DAD!" Finally he started to calm down. We were in his room and had opened his window for the first night in awhile. I heard an annoying screeching sound outside and, without looking, told Jack that he made a squirrel upset by being too loud. "See Jack, even that squirrel is annoyed at how loud you've been with your tantrum." He looked outside and up into a tree. "Momma, Dadda, dat pwearl is yelling at me." We said "yeah, we know. He's mad." I didn't seriously believe that the squirrel was at all interested in the antics in our house, but humoring Jack, I looked out the window as well. Much to my surprise, there was a squirrel about 15 feet up the nearest tree trunk, facing Jack's window, staring straight at us. And he was, indeed, screaming. "Momma, I can see his teef."

Tonight Jack was behaving and ironically, the squirrel wasn't there. I said that he was quiet because Jack was being so good and Jack answered "yeah, dat pwearl isn't barking tonight."

Comparison

I was looking back at Jack's baby book.

At 12 months he was 24 pounds, 11 ounces and 31 inches long.

Ryker at 12 months? 30 pounds, 4 ounces and 31 inches long.

What's the tallest car you can buy?

Guiness Book of World Records

We at the Banjostrand house are going for a couple of world records. Each of us is tackling a few of them. Wish us luck.

Chuck:
1. Most Frequent Job Changes. He started at Jobs2Web yesterday, marking his 6th employer (I think).
2. Strangest Calls Prior to Starting Jobs. One time he got called prior to his start date so they could tell him that they "found more money" and could increase his salary. This time, he got called with "good news and bad news." The bad news? That the laptop they ordered was not here yet. The good news? They have a desktop ready for him.
3. Most Caffeine Consumed Per Workday. Jobs2Web has free soda as well as free coffee (from freshly ground beans). Sub-records might be Most Words Spoken in One Hour, Most Times Visiting the Bathroom, and Most Work Completed in a Day.

Jamie:
1. Pounds of Almonds Consumed.
2. Highest Number of Inane Details Uncovered about Donor Prospects.
3. Strongest Bicep and Shoulder Muscles. This one is a credit to Ryker and his records - see below.

Jackson:
1. Fastest Meltdown. And Fastest Recovery.
2. Most Food Requested in a Day.
3. Most Pounds Per Square Inch of Force Applied to a Little Brother During a Hug.

Ryker:
1. Most Passing of Gas During a Doctor's Visit.
2. Quickest Reflexes. Various sub-records could include Quickest Grabbing of Glasses, Quickest Grabbing of Earrings, and Fastest Hand to Mouth Time for Tiny Choke-able Objects.
3. Largest 1 Year Old (30 pounds, 31 inches - see red dot on the growth chart below. That top arcing line is the 95th percentile).

The Rock

Did I mention in my last post that we gave him a faux hawk? For those that are unfamiliar, a faux hawk is like a wimpier mohawk.

The kid is named Ryker. It's a name that, in our estimation, allows him to pull off a rockstar haircut. I mean, look at him! Tough guy, right?

He is also fully earning his nickname of Rock - at the first beat of music he's dancing around, bobbing his head, pumping his arms up and down. At the fair we went to over the 4th he just sat in the stroller dancing as we wheeled him from place to place. Here is one of his favorite moves. I'll try to get the others on video soon.

Ryk's First Haircut

I have a new obsession. It's cutting hair. Or really cutting and trimming anything in sight. It started when I began buzzing Jack's hair. That was really fun and oddly satisfying. You can see your progress and there is something fun and new and clean to look at when you are done. I moved on to mowing the lawn. This last weekend I graduated to cutting hair with scissors. Ryker was my guinea pig, mostly because he can't object yet. After three rounds of cutting his hair and Chuck telling me that I needed to put the scissors down, I did. And when I felt the urge to reach for them again I went instead for the pruning sheers and I gave haircuts to two Russian Sage plants, one Tina Crab tree and two birch trees in our yard. I don't recommend coming over to our house.

Here's the haircut in progress.

Captain Obvious

I was cleaning the kitchen tonight and both kids were playing in the living room. Ryker crawled off to his favorite hiding spot, the bathroom. I didn't really feel like chasing him because I was still doing dishes, so I just kept yelling for him.

"Ryker! Ryk! Ryk - come here! Ryker!!!"

On and on I went until, finally, Jack chimed in...

"Momma, he can't TALK."

Hangovers

My children have cake-hangovers. While everyone laughed and laughed at Ryker shoving handfuls of icing into his mouth - his stomach was trying to deal with this new substance. And it DID NOT LIKE IT. He awoke at 5:30am screaming and writhing in pain. He came out of it eventually and seemed fine the rest of the day. But, as the old saying goes, just when you think you're out of the woods - your preschooler spews all over his room. If that's not a saying, it should be, and it WILL be in our house now.

Here's how it would be staged if it were a play:
Both kids are safely down for a nap and Chuck has left for the mall (?). Lights come up as Jamie is feeding Ryker in the living room.
Noise in the hallway.
Jamie: "What's up Jack?"
Hall door opens. Jack enters living room.
Jack: "Umm, my bed is not clean anymore."
Cuddles with Jamie while she tries to figure out what that means. Jamie looks down at his shirt and notices a speck of something that looks and smells like vomit. It IS vomit.
Cue Flight of the Bumblebees music while the following transpires.
Grandmommy hustles to the bedroom to clean it up. It smells really badly so she tries to open the window, which is still covered in plastic from the winter. The curtain rod falls onto the floor. Jamie grabs a thermometer and starts to take Jack's temp. Ryker pulls the thermometer out from Jack's armpit and throws it into the dog's water dish. Jamie runs to help Grandmommy - Grandmommy tells Jamie to leave before SHE throws up. Jamie decides that's a good idea. Jamie goes back to the boys. Jamie calls Chuck's cell to make him come home.
Cue Chuck's phone ringing on the kitchen counter right next to Jamie.
Jamie tries to console Jack on the couch and then notices that Ryker has Tugboat's rawhide in his mouth.
Jamie: to the audience "I wonder what heinous illness Jack has contracted. And if he throws up again, I'm going to throw up too."
Jack: "Can we go to the water park now?"

End Scene.

Party Time, Excellent

We had a great birthday party today, complete with Miss Kay, lots of friends from Chrysalis, Grandmommy, Grandpa, Uncle Ry Ry, Uncle Bob, Body Niece and other friends and family. Ryker seemed confused by all the fuss, but LOVED his cake. There was no hesitation - he just dove right in.

Here are some pics - more on Flickr.