A Coup

Chuck and I knew we'd be tested. We knew a day would come when forces would align and attempt to shake our confidence, rattle our sense of security, and try to make us understand who is really in charge.

We just didn't think that that day would come so soon, and that the turncoats would be our pets.

Reese and Tug conspired yesterday to try to get the humans to move out of the house. First, Kitty peed at the bottom of the stairs. We are hardly ever downstairs, but decided to go play ping-pong down there after school yesterday. While we were happily amusing ourselves, Kitty tried to pin us down there with a barrier of gross-ness. I calmly cleaned it up and moved on. Kitty then peed on Jack's bed. She does that when she's mad at us. So we (Chuck) put new sheets on his bed and we (Chuck) made a (not-so-)mental note that it's MY (Jamie's) turn to clean it up.

After getting Ryker in bed, I took a nice long shower and was ready to relax for the evening. I opened the door to our room and noticed a pile of something in our hallway, right outside our room.

My thoughts, verbatim, and in the exact order in which they flowed:

1. "What animal thew up THAT much stuff?"
2. "I should turn the light on so I can get a better look."
3. "Hmmm. It's furry. And has ears..."
4. "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!"
5. "Breathe"
6. "IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY!"
7. "I should totally Twitpic that."
8. "I am NOT touching it."
   
9. "If I leave it, Chuck will come out from putting Jack to bed and trip on it."

I made the decision to go get Chuck out of Jack's room and make him deal with it. I calmly stuck my head into Jack's room, careful not to open the door too wide so Jack wouldn't catch site of the carnage.

Me: "I need to borrow Daddy for a second."
Chuck: "Why?"
M: "You need to get out here."
Chuck: "Why?"
M: "You NEED to get out here."

I switched places with Chuck, carefully, and he stepped into the hallway, paused, and then cracked up laughing, his eyes bugging out of his head.

After we (Chuck) got that all cleaned up, we tried to resume a normal, peaceful evening. But the animals weren't finished. I climbed into bed ready to forgive Killer for her antics, and having almost forgotten about Kitty and HER antics. Then I touched it. Pee. In our bed. On our new duvet cover.

We will NOT be defeated.