Halloween and Sciatica

Halloween is quite possibly the hardest day to get my kids up and out the door. Jack was supposed to have his costume WITH him but not ON him, along with his lunch and his daily folder. Ryker was supposed to have his lunch, his blanket because it's Monday, no show and tell items because it's NOT Tuesday, and a costume either on or off of him. Poor second child.

That would have made the morning challenging enough without the added fun of having terrible sciatic nerve pain shooting down my leg. Long story, but I have a history of back ailments. This round has morphed from lower back pain to achiness, to full-on pinched nerve. It's awesome. I don't know if my intrepid readers have had it, but it is NOT pretty.

So this morning I could not will myself out of bed. Chuck had left for work already. Jack decided about two weeks ago that he will walk himself to the bus stop sans escort, thank you very much. He was in and out of my room for half an hour asking if it was time yet. When it WAS time, he gave me a hug and ran off through the house.

I heard the door open, then slam shut. Then open again and Ryker's voice yelling "SASSIN! You can't go yet! Dere's dat big twuck dere! Watch OUT Sassin!" And then Jack's voice "Ryker - it's okay. I see the truck!" And then Ryker's voice again "SASSIN! You forgot your nunch bag!!!" And then "Oh! Thanks Ryk!" and the door slamming again. Running through the house. And then "no Ryk, I HAVE IT already!" Door opening. Now I'm yelling (from my bed, through two walls) "Jackson GET GOING or you'll MISS YOUR BUS!!!" Then "It's okay Momma! Ryker thought I forgot my lunch but I really didn't!" Door slamming again. Opening again. Ryker yelling "BYE SASSIN!!!"

After about 30 more minutes of me snoozing my alarm, Ryker came into my room and said "Momma, you need get UP now."

Good thing I have my 3 year old to see my 6 year old off to the bus stop and wake me up.

I got him to school, got him dressed (wrong order - he was supposed to be in costume upon arrival), and got up to my work. Then we all got home, fed, and cleaned the house for the random families that end up coming in to hang out tonight.

It was a good thing I had a Yedi Master around, because in the middle of the evening hustle I somehow managed to get my foot stuck in the baby gate downstairs, and because of my back I couldn't bend down to release myself. It was like a bear trap. Here is Yoda healing me. He said "it's okay now, I put cweam on it."

Now I'm trying to rest my back on the couch, with some red wine, my computer, and "The Hulk" playing on the TV. Chuck, Darth, Yoda and one of our neighbor families are off and running through the neighborhood.

The Birds and the Bees - Ryker Edition

This morning I was driving Ryker to school, and we had the following conversation.

Ryker: Who gave us dis house?
Me: No one gave it to us, sweetie, we bought it.
R: We bought it? You and Daddy?
M: Yes, Daddy and I bought it.
R: And den we move in? Me and Sassin and Daddy and you?
M: No, just Jack and Mommy and Daddy. You weren't born yet.
R: Me and Sassin?
M: No, just you -- YOU weren't born yet so we moved in and then you were born later.

Long pause.

R: (in a horribly mournful voice) Mommy, I was SOOO SAD....because you weren't dere when I was born.
M: (laughing) Umm, yes I was. You came out of my tummy. I was definitely there.
R: (pause) You ATE me????

The Darth Side

Make a pact with me, okay? Please don't correct Jack this Halloween. He is so perfectly adorable and innocent and it will be gone too soon.

Too soon, he'll realize that he was "Darth" Vader, not "Dark" Vader, for Halloween. And then he'll realize it's really unlikely that a weapon would be called a Life Saver. He'll wield a light saber and dress up as Darth Vader and say "Luuuuke, I am your faaaaaather" instead of "bwaahaaahaaa".

And then he'll steal Ryker's innocence by correcting him when he yells "I'm your daddy, Lukie!"

I know that day will come - just give me a few more moments to savor their 6 and 3 year old views of the Darth Side, okay?

Deal?

Halloween on the Farm

I learned a new joke the other day. It's kind of an adult joke, but probably fine for this blog.

Q: What do you call sexy farm animals?
A: Brown chicken brown cow (said like "bowchicabowwow"- if you still don't get it, call me)

Recently Jack told me he wants to be a chicken for Halloween. He said it again in the car the other day. I quickly encouraged Ryker to be a brown cow so Chuck and I could make that joke for the next couple weeks.

Ryker said no, that he wants to be a chicken also. Two chickens. Fine. Then Jack suggested that Chuck be the farmer. Good. I asked what I got to be. Ryker said "big cat hen."

So that brings our total to two chickens (neither of them brown, I don't think), one farmer, and one big cat hen. I'll take pics.

More Bedtime Stories by Ryker

This has become a favorite for me, and for Ryker. My readers have been so good, I thought I'd reward all of you with TWO bedtime stories. It's not a trip to the Waterpark, but it's a start.

First, "Hey! Wake Up!" by Sandra Boynton. It's about waking up, not going to bed, but Ryker puts his own spin on it. Also notice him putting Jackson in his place about halfway through.

Second, "Jamberry" by Bruce Degen. This video might only be funny if you actually KNOW the book. But notice how excited Ryker gets reading it.

Enjoy. Sleep tight. Don't forget about beffest.

Waterpark

There are a few things that really motivate my children. Ice cream is one. The neighbors are another. But the biggest one? The Waterpark of America.

We have used this as extra incentive before, where Jack had to fill a sticker chart to earn a trip there. Ryker was a baby, so we had Grandmommy along with us to keep an eye on him.

Awhile back we began a family marble jar. We wanted Ryker in on the action and something that we as a family could work towards. That kept Ryker cheering Jackson on and vice versa, because they knew they would benefit too. They chose the prize - a trip to the Waterpark of course.

It worked really well actually, and in a combination of being very close to the top of the jar, and our Groupon expiring, we decided today was the day to give them their reward.

I'm not sure how many of my readers have been there, or if our experience is unique, but getting INTO the Waterpark is the most harrowing part of the whole endeavor. You're GOLDEN once you make it in there.

Our entrance today took about 45 minutes. Thirty of that was spent by Chuck waiting in line with Ryker, and me waiting in the bathroom with Jack. Once that was in order, we got into the actual park, but couldn't figure out the lockers. We brought quarters. Silly us. $6 a locker. And if you want to use a credit card you can't go to one of the desks. They send you to the other one, who sends you back to the first one, who will NOW take your card. IQ test of some sort?

While Chuck was figuring the credit card/locker conundrum, I volunteered to take both boys up to the kid area. Off we went - Jack running in front of me and jumping into the pool area. I looked back at Ryker, who was holding my hand but suddenly not really moving. And there stood my baby, with blood all over his face and chest. He gets nosebleeds all the time so I'm fairly used to handling it, but Jack was now off somewhere and the other guests looked like they might faint, so I hustled Ryker back down the stairs and into the women's locker room, banking on the maturity and swimming prowess of my orphaned 6 year old. I cleaned Ryker up and raced him back out of the locker room and up the steps - back to Jack. Chuck was there by now and burst out laughing when he realized what happened.

So that was the entrance. The rest of the time went swimmingly. Get it? I took to hiding kleenex in random decorative plants so they were readily available when Ryker's nosebleeds started up again. I got him to ride down the lazy river with me, which is a really great way to get him to cuddle - he clung to me like a little monkey the whole way around. I only got worried enough to scan for floating bodies ONCE, and that was when Jack hadn't made it back around the lazy river in 20 minutes. It's not that lazy. Turns out he had found Chuck halfway around and bailed to go back up to the kiddie area.

Anyway, we truly had a blast. The kids had so much fun and were so well behaved. Neither wanted anything to do with the bigger tube slides, but Chuck took full advantage and I went down the body slide once, which was plenty. Jack even tried the body board thing all by himself. It was AWESOME!

Here we are during the entrance exam (the only pics we took all day).

Now we're back home and got the kids to bed about an hour early. They are pruny and tired but happy happy babies.