Julie McCoy - Cruise Director

Okay, do any of you know who that is? I didn't. I planned a happy hour (yes, ANOTHER one, two weeks running) for work and my friend called me Julie. It made me wonder if she had forgotten my name, and HOW would that happen?, and yes it's her birthday but she's not THAT old! But while I was pondering all of that she explained to me that that was a cruise director. I still don't get it, but whatever.

Anyway, this relates to my family. I promise.

So I think Jack is our family's Julie McCoy. He is already planning his birthday - a full six months in advance and I have to repeat the guest list to him every day to prove to him that I still remember it. And he told me last week that everyone can be here, but anyone that wants to go into his room needs to pay a quarter. And that sounds kinda troubling coming from a four year old. I didn't ask follow-up questions.

Also, every night we have to have a "dance party" in his room. Sometimes it's a "singing party," although I have yet to figure out the difference. Tonight's dance party consisted of Ryker and me sitting on Jack's bed playing on the Magnadoodle and coloring, respectively. Jack got to pick the music, and every once in awhile he'd get a very serious look on his face, and then he's start doing a VERY slow version of ballet steps.

He's completely adorable.

The Smell of Clorox and Neosporin

That is my house right now. I prefer the smell of cookies.

Clorox - used on the floor where Tug peed, in the house, for the first time since we moved in. Also used in the bathtub after Ryker pooped in it.

Neosporin - used all over Jack's legs, where he managed to skin both knees and both shins in one fall on the driveway.

If the wind blows just right you can also catch a whiff of the Calendula cream we have to use on Ryk's face to keep scales from forming.

And just the faintest whiff of blood - take your pick, from Jack or Ryker's bloody lips they both had this weekend. Ryker got his sitting at the firepit at the neighbors' house (no idea) and Jack got his from an unfortunate encounter with a lacrosse ball at a sporting goods store.

Faster

Jack has been reading books about America's birthday, and the founding fathers, and our national anthem. He frequently asks me questions about the Revolutionary War. Today as we were driving home, he said "why did the King of Eng-wand decide to send his army over here to fight?" and I had to go through the whole taxation-without-representation thing. And I said "and then he decided that fighting was the right way to solve the problem. Do you think that was a good choice?" and he goes "no."

Then after awhile, this:

Jack: "If he came over here now, I could out run him."
Mom: "Really Bud? Are you faster than the King of England?"
J: "Yes, because I have two pairs of tie-shoes and one pair of boots."
M: "Well, what if HE has two pairs of tie-shoes and one pair of boots?"
J: Silence
M: laughing "Are you thinking about that Bud?"
J: "Yes. I think I'm faster."
M: "Yeah, I think you are too."

So that's what Jack's into right now. He's into history and learning and how fast he can run, and he's practicing his writing a lot too. It's very sweet.

Ryker? His newest accomplishment was forcing his teachers to give him a bath at school in the sink. Why? Because he had pooped, then gotten it on his hands and spread it all over his head.

Night night. Sweet dreams!

Gotta Work on My Skillz

Wanna know what's fun? Getting struck out three times by a little kid. I even took off my heels, but CJ still beat me to smitherines (is that a word?).

We rounded the corner tonight on our way home and saw the Hayes' in their yard. I beamed. Have I mentioned that I LOVE having them right next door? So they all came over and rode bikes and chased each other while CJ and Jordan (the biggest and smallest of the Hayes') played baseball with me. And Nicki came out with a plate of little pizza-tart things. (It took her a second to figure out that Ryker wasn't following her around because he loved her.)

It feels AWESOME to kick off your shoes, roll your pant legs up and play baseball in argyle socks. I just gotta work on my swing a bit.

Close Enough

Jack is wearing a football jersey, which has a v-neck collar.

Just now he says to me "Momma, wanna see somefin funny?"

Then he pulls down his shirt a bit, points at the top of his chest muscles, and says "these are my rubes!"

Talkative

Presenting...

...the happy couple. Taken at school by my mom's cell phone camera - so it's not the best quality but you get the idea.

Planning for the Future

Jack has been thinking about his future. He likes to tell us his plans. Every day he explains them, and for the last couple of weeks they've been exactly the same plans, told the same way, every day.

"When I get to be a 1 and a 5 (15) I'm going to mawy (marry) Payten. And I'm not going to wiv here no more. I'm going to wiv wiff Payten. And we're going to have bunkbeds. Payten and me will sweep on the top bunk and Big Wogan (the older of the two Logans at school) will sweep on the bottom bunk. And whenever we need somefing we'll just yell 'Hey Wogan! Come up here Wogan!'"

I asked why Payten gets to sleep on the top bunk but Logan has to sleep on the bottom. He said that it's because he likes Payten, and she's his friend, and he wants her to sleep up there with him and share his Twinkle Turtle, his Police Monkey (it's a bear, but whatever), his gorilla, and his snowmen. Those are all the things he sleeps with. Sweet boy.

New Olympic Events

I often think about new Olympic events that I would excel at. Here are a few examples.

• The Triathlon: Cooking dinner while doing dishes while carrying a rifle. I mean, breaking up fights. Non-violently.

• Wrestling Pursuit: Pursuing your child around the living room, through the kitchen, down the hall and into his room, then wrestling him onto his changing table and into a diaper with minimal bodily harm to either of you (points deducted if either of you ends up with anything gross on you).
  

• Diving: Diving to save your child, or other children, from any number of perils (falling off of the couch, touching something hot, falling into the fireplace, the other child's fist).
  

• Weight Lifting: But instead of lifting above your head or in front of you - you need to hold the 35 pound weight on one hip with one arm while carrying groceries in the other.

Ryker would be a shoe-in for gold in several current events. He can do the dead-lift (practicing with bins of toys, the ottoman, and packs of diapers) and he's a very good wrestler already. He can pin Jackson and seems to really understand the concept of keeping his hips low and his weight centered on top of his opponent. (I watch too much UFC.)

Jack would be great at anything having to do with shoveling. And as Grandpa suggested, I think curling would be ideal. He can heave Rocks down a patch of ice, or better yet, use a broom to sweep its path! Sounds just like him. He also seems to have pretty good form in basketball already.

I will nominate Chuck for any of the new events I proposed. I will NOT nominate him for traditional wrestling because he was no match for two tiny kids - check out the Flickr site for photos.