You Know You're a Second Child...

(Part two of what will, I'm sure, become a recurring topic. Part one is here.)

You Know You're a Second Child If...

...your mom is so concerned with your older sibling's safety (Is the helmet tight enough but not too tight? Is the strap under his chin secured correctly? Is the bike with training wheels sturdy enough? Is the child going to be able to use the brakes properly?) that she leaves you in the stroller, not buckled, with some cereal to occupy you and doesn't even notice when you stand straight up on said stroller all by yourself. And you stand there and stand there and if you had moved at all you would have sent the stroller rolling down the driveway. And you don't have a helmet, or shoes or anything that would cushion your fall. And instead of your mom being proud of your fantastic accomplishment (STANDING on something that's a tad wobbly), she yells at you to sit down!

The nerve.

Terrible Twos-Through-Threes-Going-On-Fours

Okay for real. I know people say that your kids are like karma - if you were an obnoxious child then you get obnoxious children as payback. But Jack is paying us back for something we really weren't ever. I was a good kid, damn it, and so was Chuck.

Jack is giving us a run for our money. And he has been since he was about two and a half.

Tonight was a good example. On the way home from a nice time at the park, Jack did the following, in no particular order:

1) Called me ugly
2) Hit me with a stick
3) Ran away from me and up the street
4) Bit me
5) Laid down in the middle of the street
6) Bit me
7) Kicked me
8) Bit me

He had a timeout on our neighbor's curb, during which he continued to bite me and kick me until I held his hands and feet down. Then we got home and he was sent to his room to calm down. I took away every toy he has. We had a heart to heart, after which I thought he was going to be a good boy.

I was wrong.

"I wish I didn't have a mom."

Wow.

So when, exactly, does this turn from a tantrummy toddler to a kid who might end up on the evening news?

Touchy-Feely

My cousin-like-a-sister Beth is in town for work. We gave her a home-cooked meal and as much love as one human can possibly take in.

Jack was especially enamored with her. He hid the entire time we were in the car bringing her to our house (that's what he does when he's smitten with someone). Then we got home and he went through the standard showing-off period. That quickly turned into "Bef's gonna sit by me at dinner!" and then "I want Bef to come into the bathroom with me" and then "Bef - watch me in the bath!"

Ryker was slower to warm up, being alternately consumed with his teeth that are coming in and which shoes he needed to wear on his hands while crawling. But when handed over to Beth, he immediately laid his head down on her shoulder and gave her a big hug. He continued to dive into her arms every time she was near him.

Jack made Beth read books to him before bed. He leaned on her and laid his head on her shoulder. When I told him it was time for me to take her to the hotel, he insisted on many, many, many hugs. He told her that she will forever be "Hug Bef" and that when he gets older he wants to live with her and wear her dress. Huh? He said that he wanted her to sleep on his bed. He also sort of half-fist-bumped her chest. Again, no idea.

As if that wasn't enough, we were standing in the living room about to leave and Kitty kept reaching out and pawing at Beth, purring loudly and forcing Beth to pet her. Tug was already holed up in the garage because she's too forceful in her attempts at affection.

I guess we're a slightly lovey-dovey house.

Monday

I picked Jackson up from school yesterday and as we were walking down the hall I asked him if he knew what Daddy told me during the day.

With a grin, he said "that it was No Tear Drop Off Monday."

He has cried every single time we have dropped him off at the new school (that makes 24 days, but who's counting?).

Hooray for Jack!

Milestone Weekend

My little boys are growing up and there doesn't appear to be any way I can stop that. So Chuck and I decided to really embrace it and go all out this weekend. Here are the milestones our boys achieved (more pictures are on Flickr):

1) Jack got big boy shoes:
2) Ryker got to turn his carseat around and face forward:
3) Jack moved into a big guy bed (his big boy sheets are a skull and crossbones and say Skurvy - he asked me if "that doggie's name is Skurvy":
4) Ryker got his first tough-guy owies:
Ryker also got whole milk and a bunch of other foods he's never had. He is VERY fond of all of them, especially nectarines (above) and chicken.

And finally, here's our big guy in motion:

Enormity and Barking Pwearls

Okay, I'm going to say just ONE MORE THING about Ryker's size but then I promise to tell a story not involving the enormity of my children.

We got some paperwork from our doctor's office, including the 12 month visit summary. Included were the growth percentiles for Ryker. We knew he was above the 95th percentile, but didn't know exactly where he came in. Here is the summary:

Weight: 99.21% of growth percentile based on weight-for-age
Length: 95.21% of growth percentile based on length-for-age
Weight for Length: 99.48% of growth percentile based on weight for recumbent length
Head circumference: 99.37% of growth percentile based on head circumference-for-age

So....yeah....

Anyway, my funny story...Last night Jack was throwing a gigantic tantrum. Just screaming and yelling and sobbing. "I can't brush my teeth!" "You're a BAD DAD!" Finally he started to calm down. We were in his room and had opened his window for the first night in awhile. I heard an annoying screeching sound outside and, without looking, told Jack that he made a squirrel upset by being too loud. "See Jack, even that squirrel is annoyed at how loud you've been with your tantrum." He looked outside and up into a tree. "Momma, Dadda, dat pwearl is yelling at me." We said "yeah, we know. He's mad." I didn't seriously believe that the squirrel was at all interested in the antics in our house, but humoring Jack, I looked out the window as well. Much to my surprise, there was a squirrel about 15 feet up the nearest tree trunk, facing Jack's window, staring straight at us. And he was, indeed, screaming. "Momma, I can see his teef."

Tonight Jack was behaving and ironically, the squirrel wasn't there. I said that he was quiet because Jack was being so good and Jack answered "yeah, dat pwearl isn't barking tonight."

Comparison

I was looking back at Jack's baby book.

At 12 months he was 24 pounds, 11 ounces and 31 inches long.

Ryker at 12 months? 30 pounds, 4 ounces and 31 inches long.

What's the tallest car you can buy?

Guiness Book of World Records

We at the Banjostrand house are going for a couple of world records. Each of us is tackling a few of them. Wish us luck.

Chuck:
1. Most Frequent Job Changes. He started at Jobs2Web yesterday, marking his 6th employer (I think).
2. Strangest Calls Prior to Starting Jobs. One time he got called prior to his start date so they could tell him that they "found more money" and could increase his salary. This time, he got called with "good news and bad news." The bad news? That the laptop they ordered was not here yet. The good news? They have a desktop ready for him.
3. Most Caffeine Consumed Per Workday. Jobs2Web has free soda as well as free coffee (from freshly ground beans). Sub-records might be Most Words Spoken in One Hour, Most Times Visiting the Bathroom, and Most Work Completed in a Day.

Jamie:
1. Pounds of Almonds Consumed.
2. Highest Number of Inane Details Uncovered about Donor Prospects.
3. Strongest Bicep and Shoulder Muscles. This one is a credit to Ryker and his records - see below.

Jackson:
1. Fastest Meltdown. And Fastest Recovery.
2. Most Food Requested in a Day.
3. Most Pounds Per Square Inch of Force Applied to a Little Brother During a Hug.

Ryker:
1. Most Passing of Gas During a Doctor's Visit.
2. Quickest Reflexes. Various sub-records could include Quickest Grabbing of Glasses, Quickest Grabbing of Earrings, and Fastest Hand to Mouth Time for Tiny Choke-able Objects.
3. Largest 1 Year Old (30 pounds, 31 inches - see red dot on the growth chart below. That top arcing line is the 95th percentile).

The Rock

Did I mention in my last post that we gave him a faux hawk? For those that are unfamiliar, a faux hawk is like a wimpier mohawk.

The kid is named Ryker. It's a name that, in our estimation, allows him to pull off a rockstar haircut. I mean, look at him! Tough guy, right?

He is also fully earning his nickname of Rock - at the first beat of music he's dancing around, bobbing his head, pumping his arms up and down. At the fair we went to over the 4th he just sat in the stroller dancing as we wheeled him from place to place. Here is one of his favorite moves. I'll try to get the others on video soon.

Ryk's First Haircut

I have a new obsession. It's cutting hair. Or really cutting and trimming anything in sight. It started when I began buzzing Jack's hair. That was really fun and oddly satisfying. You can see your progress and there is something fun and new and clean to look at when you are done. I moved on to mowing the lawn. This last weekend I graduated to cutting hair with scissors. Ryker was my guinea pig, mostly because he can't object yet. After three rounds of cutting his hair and Chuck telling me that I needed to put the scissors down, I did. And when I felt the urge to reach for them again I went instead for the pruning sheers and I gave haircuts to two Russian Sage plants, one Tina Crab tree and two birch trees in our yard. I don't recommend coming over to our house.

Here's the haircut in progress.

Captain Obvious

I was cleaning the kitchen tonight and both kids were playing in the living room. Ryker crawled off to his favorite hiding spot, the bathroom. I didn't really feel like chasing him because I was still doing dishes, so I just kept yelling for him.

"Ryker! Ryk! Ryk - come here! Ryker!!!"

On and on I went until, finally, Jack chimed in...

"Momma, he can't TALK."