Unexpected

When I pictured this last weekend, I pictured a couple of days filled with kid activities. I pictured us running around - Chuck and I scrambling to make sure everyone got where they needed to go exactly when they needed to be there. I pictured fun. I pictured a few meltdowns (of both the kid and adult variety).

We got all of that. We also got some wackiness and a bunch of unexpected twists and turns.

It started Friday night with the kids both agreeing to go to the Carleton men's basketball playoff game. If you know my kids in their present-day form you'll know why this is weird. They prefer to cuddle up on the couches for Pizza Friday and watch movies together. We traipsed off to St. Thomas, feeling like we were introducing the kids to our old, familiar MIAC days. Only St. Thomas has now built what looks like a small airport terminal on their campus where the parking lot used to be. So that was weird.

Saturday we went to karate. Normal.

Saturday afternoon Jack had to come with me to my basketball game. He's never done that before. I have my game-face on, playing with dudes and trying not to get dunked on. Also trying not to throw my back out and show how old I am. I'm hitting shots and getting steals, helping us on a 15-0 run to bring the game within 5 points with 5 minutes remaining. And then I hear "Momma. Momma. Momma. Momma." Jack is standing 2 inches from the sideline, right next to me. And he wants to talk about who is winning and who is losing. So that was weird.

Saturday afternoon we went to the "carnival" at Jack's school. Quotations used purposefully. To be fair, it was hosted by the church that the school leases their space from, not by the actual school. But it was promoted by the school. The posters and flyers said "carnival" from 2:30 to 3:45 and then "show" from 3:45-5. There were top hats and magicians' wands. The carnival lived up to it's name, full of bouncy houses and games and face-painting and popcorn. Then everything abruptly stopped. They kicked kids out of line and packed up the karaoke machine and told everyone it was time to go to the sanctuary. The school puts on performances there so I didn't think much of it. They had the spotlights circling, beach balls flying through the crowd, music playing, and mic'd clowns running around on stage. They welcomed us all there, then told us it was time for worship. I'll skip the full story and just finish by saying that the school will get a letter from me later this week, telling them they need to be more careful with the things they are promoting, and asking them to kindly use more descriptive language than "show." Call it "worship" or "service" and I'd know to guide the children out of there before getting their hopes up and then confusing them. We did have a good talk on the walk home about what happened, and why it made us feel uncomfortable.

Sunday we went to our first karate tournament. That seemed normal at the start - Jack did his basic forms and got his very first trophy. Then we were sitting around waiting for the black belt stuff to start - and I began people-watching. Turns out that karate draws a very, very odd assortment of participants. There are people of all shapes and sizes and seemingly abilities, and then you look down and realize they are a 3rd degree black belt. It was fascinating. And the spectators were equally strange and had zero sense of personal space. The adults kept bumping into me, kicking me when I was sitting on the floor, and pushing my chair from behind. The children kept hugging Jack and Ryker and patting me on my knee.

The black belt team championships were amazing though. Serious athletes there. We got to see his school's director compete in a form competition. Then we stayed to watch one of his teachers compete in team sparring. I've seen some sparring, but that was only practice. This was for real. Mr. Schneider is a young, athletic kid who is animated and wonderful with the kids. In the ring, he was a beast, until he got knocked down three feet in front of us. He didn't pop right back up, but laid flat on his back. His face was twisted in pain and he wasn't moving one arm. I glanced over at it, and shouldn't have. I'll skip this full story too, and finish by saying that moms were covering their kids' eyes and I sprinted out of there, to my car, and sped home.

At least there weren't as many meltdowns as I had imagined.

Notes to People In Warmer Climates

First of all, let's get this out of the way - YES, I chose to live here and no, I'm not leaving any time soon. So you can just go ahead and NOT write that in the comments, okay? Okay then...

To set the stage: It is currently 2 degrees, with a wind chill of negative 8. Yesterday's high temperature was 2 degrees below zero. I can't find the wind chill yesterday, but the winds were gusting to 27 miles per hour, so I'd say it was significant.

So walking in to work today I was thinking about all the things that hearty Minnesotans get to experience that the rest of you don't, so I thought I'd share the love...

1. We plug our cars in. Okay, so I have never actually done this, until last night. But you can literally plug your car into a normal outlet with a normal extension cord. I was pretty sure that me and the cord were gonna drive to work this morning together, but Chuck kindly unplugged it before I left. Smart guy.

2. Your nose hairs freeze and stick together. It's odd and you find yourself making weird faces trying to unstick them. (You know you're making the faces now too, admit it.)

3. (LAURA T - If you're reading, skip this one. It's about eyes.) That membrane that covers your eyeball? That thing kinda freezes too. Weirder than the nose hair one, and I think that must be what the start of cataracts feels like.

4. Christi and Beth can attest to this - your jeans freeze. You get out of your car wearing jeans and after a short walk they have turned into cardboard pants.

5. It gets so cold that it's physically impossible for it to snow. When the snow falls, we consider that a warm-up.

6. Your teeth actually get cold. In your mouth. It's like eating ice cream only suckier and without the calories.

7. If your gym bag sits in your car all day while you're at work, your workout clothes get ridiculously cold and you start to see all means of creativity in the locker room. Some people simply put the cold clothes on, do the full-body shiver and then hop up and down for awhile cursing under their breath. Some throw their clothes, or entire bag, in the sauna for a few minutes. Today I found myself using the hair dryer on my gym shorts. I looked up and saw a few people staring, but I think they were secretly wishing they had thought of it first. 

8. Your freezer space increases 118-fold. Is that a thing? All winter you can put your hotdishes and lefsas in the garage and they stay nice and frigid.

9. Related to number 8 - you can NOT keep beer in the garage because it will freeze and explode. 

10. Schools close, sometimes, because the diesel fuel the buses use can "gel-up." Chuck taught me that one. I have no idea what it means. Email him.

King Jack

If you follow me on Facebook, you already know this, but I'll elaborate here. Jack won four awards in school in the last three days. This is significant for a lot of reasons, but mainly because he has worked so hard at it. I think some people (even readers here, I'd guess) have kids for whom behavior has never been a problem. It's one of those "You Can't Know What It's Like Until You're There" things, to be a parent of a kid who really struggles in that area.

He's had his eye on the Classroom VIP since he stepped foot at Seven Hills (his new school). It's the highest honor they bestow upon the students - and every class does it every week of school. Jack has ebbed and flowed with his behavior in the classroom and has not received the award.

In gym class they give a VIP as well, and Jack won that earlier in the year. Then behavior stuff got hard again and he didn't get any more. We work REALLY hard with him on all of this - I won't go into it all here, but trust me that the caps-lock on "really" was intentional and well-earned. So we took a deep breath and kept at it. He kept mentioning the classroom VIP, even saying the other week that he thought he was going to get it. I knew he wasn't, because I was having daily email conversations with his teacher about his behavior. It broke my heart and Jack got to learn the words "discouraged" and "disappointed" and the difference between the two.

He had a good day on Friday, and Monday, and again Tuesday, and the hopes started going up (on both of our parts, I'm not gonna lie) that this might be the week. On Wednesday he got the gym VIP again, and a Great Work ticket in math class. That's another way they reward good behavior.

I picked him up Friday and we were walking down the hallway and he goes "so...I got the VIP."

I literally dropped my bag on the ground and said "SHUT. UP." (I'm a great role model.) I was stunned. He was beaming.

I tried to tackle him but he's too strong for me so I had to settle for a really big bear hug. He also got another Great Work ticket. Four awards in three days - all of them behavior-related. Amazing.

Missing

We were playing that game at dinner where you draw a card and it has a question on it and you ask the question to the family and everyone gets to answer. We had done a couple of them and then we drew one that said "Who do you miss?" We each answered and then it was Chuck's turn. I said "Daddy, who do YOU miss?" And Ryker quietly goes "please say me."

Time Off for Good Behavior

Camp Grandmommy - the Winter Edition. Chuck and I left the kids with her in StL last Thursday and headed back up to Minnesota. We bought (well, leased) a car, cleaned the bathrooms and kitchen and living room and entryway, scanned hundreds of our documents into the computer and then shredded the paper-trail, folded loads of laundry, slept a lot, saw movies (the Hobbit for Chuck and Les Mis for me), hung out with friends, and had a Harry Potter movie-marathon.

The bulk of my time, though, was spent in the kids' bedrooms.

TERRIBLE.

I had this stance for awhile that they are big enough to clean their own rooms and that if I helped them, it was doing them a disservice. The last 48 hours, I've paid dearly for that decision.

The upside to filling three bags of trash and two bags of recycling is that you get another view of your kids. For instance, Ryker really, really loves his brother - he saves tiny pieces of paper that Jack gives him. He also is a hoarder of cups, writing implements, and Chapstick. Jackson likes to roll up a bunch of pieces of paper and then tape them together, and he is sentimental. He has kept all kinds of work from the last two years of schooling, awards, positive notes home from teachers, stories he's written and things he and I have drawn. I'd say that he only has them because he doesn't throw ANYTHING away, but they were in remarkably pristine condition, and sometimes stapled together into collections.

The kids return tomorrow. We'll have to stop watching movies so loudly, the new car will be introduced to Fruit Snacks and kid-sized footprints, the dust bunnies will roll once more. But I want to hug my babies, so I'll allow it. =)