A Coup

Chuck and I knew we'd be tested. We knew a day would come when forces would align and attempt to shake our confidence, rattle our sense of security, and try to make us understand who is really in charge.

We just didn't think that that day would come so soon, and that the turncoats would be our pets.

Reese and Tug conspired yesterday to try to get the humans to move out of the house. First, Kitty peed at the bottom of the stairs. We are hardly ever downstairs, but decided to go play ping-pong down there after school yesterday. While we were happily amusing ourselves, Kitty tried to pin us down there with a barrier of gross-ness. I calmly cleaned it up and moved on. Kitty then peed on Jack's bed. She does that when she's mad at us. So we (Chuck) put new sheets on his bed and we (Chuck) made a (not-so-)mental note that it's MY (Jamie's) turn to clean it up.

After getting Ryker in bed, I took a nice long shower and was ready to relax for the evening. I opened the door to our room and noticed a pile of something in our hallway, right outside our room.

My thoughts, verbatim, and in the exact order in which they flowed:

1. "What animal thew up THAT much stuff?"
2. "I should turn the light on so I can get a better look."
3. "Hmmm. It's furry. And has ears..."
4. "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!"
5. "Breathe"
6. "IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY IT'S A BUNNY!"
7. "I should totally Twitpic that."
8. "I am NOT touching it."
   
9. "If I leave it, Chuck will come out from putting Jack to bed and trip on it."

I made the decision to go get Chuck out of Jack's room and make him deal with it. I calmly stuck my head into Jack's room, careful not to open the door too wide so Jack wouldn't catch site of the carnage.

Me: "I need to borrow Daddy for a second."
Chuck: "Why?"
M: "You need to get out here."
Chuck: "Why?"
M: "You NEED to get out here."

I switched places with Chuck, carefully, and he stepped into the hallway, paused, and then cracked up laughing, his eyes bugging out of his head.

After we (Chuck) got that all cleaned up, we tried to resume a normal, peaceful evening. But the animals weren't finished. I climbed into bed ready to forgive Killer for her antics, and having almost forgotten about Kitty and HER antics. Then I touched it. Pee. In our bed. On our new duvet cover.

We will NOT be defeated.

Slideshow

I submit for your viewing pleasure - Ryker doing two of his favorite things:

1) Watching slideshows of family photos
and
2) Babbling

Jack Has Coined a New Phrase

The other day I was holding Ryker and kept tipping him backwards and saying "Dip!" - which he found totally hilarious.

After doing this for awhile, I did it one more time -- "Dip!".... and Jack added "...in the sauce."

Chuck and I cracked up. He didn't say it again until yesterday morning. Chuck was holding Ryker and tickling him and Jack said "Dip him in the sauce, Daddy!"

Creative, I thought.

A List: Things That are Cute

Things That are Cute Coming Out of a 4 Year Old's Mouth But You Hope They Don't Ever Say When They are in College:

1) "Everybody get in my bed! We can all get in my bed!"

2) "Hold my monkey please."

3) "I'm pooping!"

4) "I can write my name and all my numbers!"

5) "Can you help me with my pants please?"

Nicknames

Have I mentioned our family tradition for nicknames? Not so much "tradition" as "inability to say names without shortening or making them cutesy." And not so much "family" as "my."

Tugboat: Tug, Buh-boh, Fatty McPancakes, Barfboat, etc.

Reese: Kitty, Reesy Piecy

Ryker: Ryk, Ryky, Ryky Bike, Rock, Little man

Jackson: Jack, Jack Attack, Jack Jack, Bud...and the newest addition, and reason for this post...Michael Jackson.

Jack's friend Chucky calls him Michael Jackson - all the time. "Michael Jackson - come over here!" "Michael Jackson - wanna play with me?" "Did you see what Michael Jackson just did?" He doesn't laugh or smirk or anything. I think he might think that's his real name.

Halloween 2009

Well, we successfully navigated another Halloween. We carved pumpkins (Jack put two faces on his - creative, I thought) and roasted the seeds.
Jack wanted to be a flower for awhile, but then got into the costume store and picked Spiderman instead. Like half of the other boys in America. We ultimately decided to let Ryker be a construction worker, mostly because we have the costume at home and he loves it.
So we got all dressed up yesterday and opened our door - to the screams of Chucky, who lives up the street from us. He was yelling "Come on Jackson! GET OVER HERE!" He was standing in his yard screaming at us to hurry up so they could get started. Chucky and Jack are buds...
...and they drag Samantha (Chucky's sister) and Ryker along for the ride. Here are all 4 as we set out.
Our neighborhood isn't that into Halloween, which sucks. But while the adults were disappointed and recalling Halloweens from our childhoods where we came home with pillow cases FULL of candy, the boys didn't have anything to compare it to, and were quite content with their little piles. Ryker was in the stroller, as there is no way he'd keep up with the big kids and something about his costume kept making him fall over. He seemed fine strolling along, but I thought he should have at least one chance to Trick-or-Treat, so I got out ahead of our pack and let him out of the stroller. I gave him his bag and helped him up to the door. He sceptically held out his bag and watched as the lady dumped some candy into it. Then he turned around and fell face-first into the lawn. Back into the stroller.

We ended up over at the neighbors house, the ones from my Wally and the Beav post. They throw a good party! I was so engrossed with the Halloween-themed food and keeping Ryker from crawling into their fireplace that I forgot to check in with Jack. When I went outside I saw my very own Spiderman chasing some other kids with a gigantic log. I told him to get back here immediately, and to put that log back where he found it. He walked over to the firepit outside and threw it in the flames. More gray hairs for me. A few beers in the garage and football on the TV helped me forget all about it. All in all a good night though.

(More pics on Flickr)

Wally and the Beav

I had this moment on Sunday when I thought I really might be living in some sort of idyllic family sitcom. Actually, several moments.

I was making a casserole (or "hotdish" as we call it in Minnesota). Ryker was in his high chair having a snack while Jack was helping Chuck in the garage. Then Jack went over to the new neighbor's house and it hit me - I could step onto our deck and yell into the neighbor's yard "Jackson - come wash up for dinner!" Of course, to really look like June Cleaver I would have to change out of my sweats, shower, curl my hair, put on makeup and (buy and) don an apron. But still, my kid was over at the neighbor's. Maybe all of you have already experienced that, but I hadn't. Jack's always in our yard, playing with us.

It really was a surreal moment for me. I put the hotdish on a timer, bundled Ryker up and walked over there to meet them myself (Chuck already had so we knew they were safe and all). I was still unshowered and in sweats and Ryker had mashed potatoes in his hair, but I thought it was more important to go meet them than to look pretty.

As if we weren't already living in some fantasy-neighborhood-world, two more neighbor kids came to join the fun, so we ended up with eight kids and six parents in the yard watching the kids play in a leaf pile, throw a football, ride on the tireswing, and be pushed around in a wheelbarrow. It was SO FUN. And when it got dark we walked back to our house, unbundled and sat down for Tator Tot Hotdish warm from the oven.

I think I've mentioned this before, but when I was a freshman in high school my English teacher berated me for an essay I wrote about my dream life. I said I wanted a white house with a white picket fence - the "American Dream." I really did want it, only at that time I didn't know the house would be a beige rambler in Minnesota with hotdish in the oven. And I forgot to add the part about the awesome neighbor kids.