Things that go Squeak, Crshhhh, Padpadpad in the Night

I have been doing lots of number crunching and statistical analysis at work this week, so I thought I would do a little Jack Analysis as well.

Times Jack left his room from 8pm last night until 7am this morning: 13
Average escapes per hour: 1.18
Highest traffic time: 8-10pm (11 outings)
Average time out of room: 2 minutes
Average number of doors he opened, closed, slid, slammed or sat against per outing: 4
Average time between being caught and diving back into bed: 3 seconds
Percentage of times Daddy or Mommy snuck up and caught him: 61%

Here is what our house sounds like at night (with translations for those of you whose imaginations aren't the same as mine):

Squeeeeeeaaaaaakkkkk (Jack's door opening)
Crssssshhhhhh (Jack's door scraping across his carpet as he opens it)
Pad....pad....pad (Jack walking or jogging into the hallway)
Crssssshhhhhh (Chuck and my door opening slowly)
CLICK (Jack closing our door quickly)
padpadpadpadpadpad THUD (Jack sprinting to his room and diving onto his bed)
"You need to stay in bed." (Mommy or Daddy calmly setting expectations)
"Yah." (Jack agreeing.)

This is the abbreviated version. Variations (seen last night, among other times) include closing our door to keep Mommy locked into her own room, then sliding open the pocket door and walking to the gate to the downstairs, standing there for awhile, then coming back and getting caught by Mommy...
OR

Walking into Mommy/Daddy's room and hanging out in there for awhile while Mommy was in the kitchen, then turning around to find Mommy standing at the door of the bedroom, sprinting towards her, throwing a very effective stiff-arm at her leg to create enough space to run past and then diving into bed.

Most people's reactions to this is "Awww, that's so cute! He just wants to be around you more!" That would be a logical and sweet way of looking at it, unless you are around for the dreaded Morning After, which includes several rounds of "me gonna hit youuuuuu" being sung to us and then him hitting us (at least we're warned). Then "quiet time" (sort of like time outs), then demands for stickers, explanations that you have to EARN your stickers, then more hitting. Somehow this morning he wove into the Raga a new element - walking around with socks in one hand and six toddler spoons in the other, which somehow deteriorated into three spoons in one hand, two on the floor, one missing, one sock in the other hand, other sock missing - all while rolling on the ground and crying.

God Bless Coffee.