Question Brigade

The question brigade that Chuck spoke of in an earlier post has gotten increasingly persistent. Our ride home from daycare now goes something like this (every single day):

Jack: "Norma* huzmun** picking her up?" (*Miss Norma - teacher at daycare; **husband)
Momma: "It doesn't look like it."
J: "Where he is?"
M: "I don't know Bud, maybe at home."
J: "Why?"
M: "I don't know where he is, I'm just guessing."
J: "You pick me up?"
M: "Yes, I picked you up."
J: "Siddy Momma!"

Pause...

J: "We going dis way?"
M: "Yep, we're turning left."
J: "Why?"
M: "Because that's where our house is."
J: "Where Chri-sis Coo-coon at?" (Chrysalis Cocoon, his daycare)
M: "It's back there."
J: "Oh."

Pause...

J: "Deez people going home?"
M: "I don't know. I don't know these people. Some of them are probably going home though."

Pause...

J: "Kids singing coming up?"
M: "The songs we are listening to RIGHT NOW are kids singing."
J: "They coming up?"
M: "No, they aren't coming up - they are happening RIGHT NOW. Can you hear them?"
J: "Um, yeah!"
M: "Good."
J: "Momma, dat too loud?"
M: "No, it's just fine."
J: "What dat means?"
M: "It's not too loud or too soft. It's just fine."
J: "Um, actually, it too quiet."

Pause...

J: "Dat sidewalk?"
M: "Yep, that's the sidewalk."
J: "What dat means?"
M: "What does what mean?"
J: "Sidewalk. What dat means?"
M: "It's what people walk on next to roads."
J: "Why?"
M: "Because it's not safe to walk in the roads."
J: "Momma, you good diver?"
M: "Yes Bud."
J: "You Daddy's huzmun?"
M: "No, I'm Daddy's wife. He's MY husband."
J: "Daddy my huzmun?"
M: "No Jack, Daddy is your dad. Daddy is my husband and I'm his wife."
J: "Daddy your wife?"
M: "No."
J: "Daddy is Chuck Banjostrand?"
M: "Yes Bud."

Pause...

J: "My baby's momma going to read books?"
M: "Well, I'M the baby's momma, just like I'm your Momma."
J: Looks completely startled and on the verge of tears.

Pause...

J: "You woman?"

Questions persist throughout the evening, covering why people can only have 2 prunes at a time (a rule at the Banjostrand household), where Tugboat and Kitty and fictional characters' mouths and butts are, whether any number of named adults and kids wear underwear and whether those same people sleep in their beds all night, and whether I've gone to the bathroom and/or showered today. I'm a little afraid to take him into public places anymore - who knows what he'll start asking people he meets.

You are all forewarned, by the way.