Visiting Our House

You should really come visit our house. Fun things happen here. You might watch a little TV, be offered a lucky coin by Jackson, get a hug from Ryker. Then the kids might cough on you and you might get a cold. But it's okay because we have lots of Dayquil. But you might take some of that Dayquil and then feel all goofy. While you're feeling goofy you might think that you are hearing things, but then you might realize that yes, indeed, Jack is sobbing about how his teeth are going to fall out and he's going to have to eat applesauce. That wasn't the Dayquil talking. And you might try to go to bed early, but Ryker will probably wake you up every 3 hours. And you might also wake up, in between Ryker's screams, to find Jack standing and staring at you. And it might creep you out just like those kids from The Shining. Anyway, after Jack goes back to bed Chuck might start snoring. And if you're visiting you aren't sleeping in our room (at least I hope not), so you probably don't hear him. But just say that you DO hear him and you get really mad because your Dayquil isn't cutting it and you just want to go to sleep!!!! So you decide that you're going to go into the living room and sleep in the Slanket. So you settle down and it's pretty out there and VERY quiet. And as you're just about to fall asleep, all comfy in your reverse-robe, that's when one of Jack's toy trains - the circus car that carries chimpanzees - will malfunction and chimps will randomly start shrieking at you. Eventually you'll fall asleep, with visions of creepy children and shrieking monkeys dancing in your head. You'll be woken by the sound of Jackson placing his breakfast order. "I want some oatmeal and a beffest bar and a waffle and a bite-a-min." And then you'll watch Corduroy or Goodnight Gorilla or The Teacher from the Black Lagoon and Jack will snuggle up to you and say he loves you forever. And Ryker will try to give you an open-mouthed kiss. And you won't want to leave because we're all so dang cute.