My perfect, beautiful baby has run across 2 aesthetic foes already. He has baby acne. Baby acne. So sad. Also, he has stork bites (red birthmarks on the back of his neck). I'm watching my poor little man turn red and splotchy and bumpy before my very eyes.
So of course I do what I do with anything else - I call my mom and make her Google it for me. I rarely have two hands to type with simultaneously.
My mom looked up the birth marks first and tried to make me feel better by telling me that she had a red birth mark too. "Edna" she said, as if that meant anything to me. "Who's Edna?" I said. "Edna was my birthmark. She was on my arm and looked like a profile of a woman with curly hair."
[My mom is probably wincing (or crying with laughter) right now reading this.]
I have never heard of Edna before, which might not seem strange to most people, but I know a whole lot about my mom and if this birthmark was important enough to name, wouldn't it have been important enough to introduce me to?
Anyway, we learned that almost all birthmarks go away EXCEPT the ones on the back of necks. Chuck thinks he'll have to have a mullet for the rest of his life. My mom didn't think it was a big deal. "Who will see it?" she asked. "Everyone standing in back of him for his ENTIRE LIFE" I answered.
Then to the acne. My mom found an article by a lovely guy named Dr. Greene. He helpfully suggested that you NOT use acne medicine or cleansers on your baby. I'm sleep-deprived, but not that much. My mom read over the phone to me "...In baby acne, these bumps, Beckie, are quickly fleeting evidence of..." Pause... "Beckie?" I could tell my mom thought that the bumps were named Beckie. And why not? If a birthmark can be named Edna, why not name acne Beckie? Sounds a lot nicer, actually.
So my little man has two new friends, Edna and Beckie. Wish them a speedy departure, please.
3 comments:
I'm sorry to hear your son has baby acne, but this post made me laugh out loud...at work...in a library. I'm going to start referring to every zit by first name only.
Jamie and Chuck,
I love your blog, especially this last post. Maybe it runs in the family, but we have tons of birthmarks over here. Debbie and both her girls have brown splotch type marks on their leg and Nathan had a big red pimple looking mark on his forehead which was very noticeable for his first year or two but then went away just like the pediatricion said it would. Debbie and Clint were very worried about it at the time, but now when we look at those baby pictures of him, we love seeing it because that was Nathan!!
I also loved the post about Jackson's interest in the presidential election. What two year old knows about caucuses and Barack Obama??!! Nathan is very interested in both also, but he is 9 years old!!! :)
Ryker and Jack are both darling. Give them both a kiss for us. Tell Jackson we are Obamacans and if he doesn't know what that is, it is high time he learn....ha! ha!
Keep up the blog, I love it!!
I already told you the other things I THOUGHT about responding with... :)
I'll settle for...Oh, JAM...the things you don't know about me could fill a book! (and considering the things you DO know, that would prove very interesting, wouldn't it???!!!)
Ryker IS perfect! Quit picking on him!
Mommy (whose Edna has, indeed, faded over the years)
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