Basketball Rules of Engagement

There is a certain order and rhythm to street ball. Most gyms and playgrounds have similar rules, and everyone follows them. When people are waiting to play, they automatically get in the next game. If there are more than the necessary amount of players waiting for the next game, everyone shoots and the first players to make it earn the right to play. If your team loses, you're off the court. If there is a dispute, you shoot for it. You call your own fouls, and you don't call many of them.

There's also a certain amount of respect. At the end of most pick-up games, everyone congratulates each other and high-fives or fist-bumps or whatever. Even if you're bad.

It's comforting, knowing the rules and how to operate within them.

But there is something that is also consistently found, and flies in the face of the usual respectfulness of the basketball rules of engagement. Sexism. I've dealt with it my whole life, and yet it still unnerves me. I step into a gym and, unless I know all the guys, there is a fair amount of staring. When it's time for the next game, and I make my shot to get in the game, there is almost always someone who goes "I'm on YOUR team?" and looks like someone just stole their puppy. If it's time for people to pick who they'll defend, I'm ALWAYS the last one chosen. No one wants to guard me - they think they can't be physical or it won't be a challenge.

Last week I stood waiting for a game and there were enough of us that we could run 5s (play 5 on 5) so the guys who were also waiting were trying to decide if we should do that. One guy was standing right next to me, and he goes "yeah, but then someone would have to pick up the girl" and he motions at me. I just stared at him, and he didn't make any attempt to back track, or even acknowledge me.

In another game, one of the guys that was on my team refused to pass me the ball the entire first game we played together. He wouldn't inbound it to me, wouldn't pass to me in the half court, wouldn't let me bring the ball up the court. Nothing. I was laughing out loud, and considered walking off the court. But I WANTED to play. So I stayed, and decided to kill him with kindness. If someone else passed me the ball and I didn't have a shot, I passed to him EVERY SINGLE TIME. I was cracking myself up. Our team kept winning, and I guess I played well enough to earn his respect. By the end he had made up affectionate nicknames for me and was screaming at me to shoot every time I touched the ball.

It's SO annoying to have to prove myself like that, for no other reason than my gender. At some point I will have played with all of the guys that play at my gym, and then I won't have to go through that every time, I guess. Or at least I hope so. And some of the guys are now sticking up for me when they hear someone else bad-mouthing "the girl." Good for them.