Help Me, For Their Sake

Jackson has new friends. The neighbor boys, ages six and nine, are his new favorites, and we met another kid that lives down the street, also nine. And mostly that is a happy thing. It's pretty cute. But it also makes me so sad sometimes.

Have I mentioned that I'm terrified of kids not coming to other kids' birthday parties?

Case in point - today Jack was wearing his bike helmet, which he loves. He was wearing it and riding on his tricycle in the driveway. The other kids came over and Dayvon, the six year old and Jack's personal hero, asked why he was wearing a helmet. Jack just kind of sat there and looked at me all confused. I was like "for safety, Dayvon" and I tried to give him the evil eye so he'd stop asking questions like that. Instead he continued on with his questioning and talked about how Jack must be a little kid to have to wear a helmet and not ride a big bike, etc. etc. And probably what happened at that point was that Jack rode off, completely oblivious to the conversation. In my mind, though, Jack was completely distraught and sad and cried his eyes out because a kid he idolized thought he was really small and childish.

Then later the kids came into the backyard because they were impressed by the playground back there. So they all played and Jack was proudly showing them all the equipment. Then he ran towards another part of the yard, yelling back at them "Ummm guys, wanna see my bike? Ummm guys, THIS is my dad's BIRD feeder!" But somewhere in that five second run, the kids decided to all go home, so they ran through the garage and left. So Jack turns around at the bird feeder to show them, and no one was there. He looked around and was like "Ummm, guys?"

Still later the kids came back over and knocked on the door. It was too late for Jack to go out - we had to eat dinner and get in bed. But he came to the door with me and started dragging out all the things he could think of to show them, including the vacuum. He was so excited to show them all the parts of the vacuum and they just stood there looking confused and uninterested. They sort of argued that he really could come out, but I kept saying no and that he would have to get to bed, which they didn't understand because it seemed really early to them. But I kept explaining that he's 3. Then we said bye and they left.

So I know he's not hurt at all, but it just reminds me that all the friend-making starts now. And when he was only playing next to people, not with them, and we could control who was around him, it didn't really matter. I didn't feel like I needed to protect his feelings, or that other kids might question our rules.

I was explaining all of this to my brother and I said that Jack's emotions are fragile and he laughed and pointed out that MY emotions are fragile. So true. To all the other parents out there, or anyone who can help: please tell me how to shut that part of my brain off. Thanks.