Things Jack Has Decided

1. Mornings go like this: 6:40 a.m. is wake up time - EXACTLY 6:40. He needs to open and shut his door several times, peeking into the hallway to see if we happen to just be hanging out right there. After that he can stand watching our room for any sign of movement, then come tearing in when he gets confirmation that we're awake. Then he comes on to the bed and can demand to watch something on TV about animals having birthdays. Not a clue what that means.

2. Africa is pronounced "Af-mallmerica" (said really quickly).

3. Bingo (the dog in the song) is actually spelled "I-B-I-N-G-O." Like iChat or iPhone. Beth - did you plant this in his head?

4. They sell apples and pretty much anything else you need at Home Depot. And he wants to go there. (Is anyone picking up on the materialistic tendencies here? I'm blaming it on Chuck, who is the world's most informed and dedicated consumer.)

5. You can't wear socks while eating breakfast.

6. You are considered "naked" if you show any skin aside from your face, hands and feet. Short sleeve t-shirts are especially offensive.

7. He has water in his finger.

8. Dadda is the foremost expert on anything tool-related, and he NEEDS Jack to help him with the nursery.

9. Sunglasses are always a great accessory, so long as they are worn upside down and match one's fake Crocs.10. Haircuts are well worth the fear factor since they reward you with things called "lollipops" and Mamma and Dadda fawn all over you for the next few hours.