Registering for Kindergarten

Today I'm annoyed. I tried this morning to get everything ready to register Jack for kindergarten - officially. The process is next to impossible. I'm not kidding. I need a NOTARIZED version of his birth certificate. I need his immunizations, plus a form filled out by his doc. I need a bajillion pieces of paper filled out by me.

I called the school to make sure I could send in what I have completed, and send the supporting documents later, just so he's on their records and lists and whatnot. I'm getting antsy. The secretary was very nice. She said sure, and then said she could take a bunch of info now and get him on their lists. Great. So we did that and then she goes "half day or full day" because the state only pays for half. I said full. She said "paying?" and I said yes. She goes "oh, you must have talked to Patty."

Umm, no. "No, I didn't talk to Patty. Who is Patty? SHOULD I talk to Patty?"

Secretary: "Oh, well how do you know you're in full day then?"
Me: "I guess I don't. I'd like for Jack to be in full day, and we'll pay."
S: "Well, it's a numbers game. I'll put down that you are requesting that and I'll get back to you....I know I know your name from somewhere...."
M: "Well, my mom brought him up to visit a kindergarten classroom a few weeks ago."
S: "Yes, that was it! So was he assessed then?"
M: "No. He just visited the classroom."
S: "Oh, well he'll need to be assessed."
M: "Is that different than Early Childhood Screening? Because I have THAT set up already."
S: "Yes, this is different. When are you available to bring him in?"

Seriously? And it's only for 15 minutes. What are they possibly going to learn about my child in 15 minutes that will affect anything? They'll learn that he is very shy around new people, that he sucks his thumb still, and that he has gorgeous blue eyes - but that's only IF they can see him when he's hiding behind me with his face buried in the small of my back. Does THAT get us into full day? Are they looking for bribes?

I don't know how anyone figures this stuff out. I'm generally a smart person, with access to a computer and a phone and the ability to take time to make a personal call from work. Not everyone has that luxury.

It will be a miracle if this child actually gets to start school in the fall. I'll throw a party.

Speaking of which, Ryker's bday party is July 2. Save the date. Everyone's invited. If I get my act together soon, I'll send an email out. If I don't have your email address, consider yourself invited anyway. Unless you're the neighbor with the criminal record. You are NOT invited, unless you are also a notary public and want to help us get Jack's paperwork ready.

Corduroy

I was putting Jack in bed tonight, when Ryker marched in and announced that he could read Corduroy to us all by himself. He hopped up on the bed and got ready. He opened to the first page, then paused, looked at the front cover, and goes "what his name?"

Mom: "That's Corduroy."
Ryker: "Oh...okay. Code-woy was by eh-fant and juh-waff."
(shows picture to me and Jack, who is playing Angry Birds at this point on my phone.)
M: (smiles)
R: "No yaffing."
M: "I'm not laughing, I'm smiling because I like how you are reading to me."
R: "No smi-ying."
M: "Okay. Sorry."
R: "Okay...(going back to the book) What his name?"
M: "Corduroy."
R: "Oh. And what HIS name is?" (pointing to the next page)
M: "Corduroy."
R: "Oh. Okay. Code-woy saw stairs. He walkin on dah stairs. See?" (showing the picture to Jack, who isn't watching, and me, who isn't smiling.)
M: (nodding)
R: "Don't go yike dis." (mimes nodding)
M: "Okay, sorry."
R: "It ok...(back to the book) What his name?"
M: "Corduroy."
R: "Okay...and what DIS?" (pointing at the escalator in the picture)
Chuck: "That's an escalator."
R: "What?"
C: "Escalator."
R: "Okay. Code-woy go up da esk-yatoh."

So this goes on for awhile. Every time he shows me a picture, I have to not laugh, not smile, and not nod.

Finally I lost it and cracked up laughing. I had tears streaming down my face. I couldn't stop laughing. I was talking through my laughing fit and saying "it's so hard not to laugh or smile!" He thought I was crying from sadness, so he leaned over (I was laying down), hugged me and kissed me, and goes "dat okay Mommy, you can yaff. It ok."

Music Education

Jack and Ryker and I listen to music all the time. Past favorites of theirs, as you might recall, are Michael Buble and the Beatles. The other morning the Beastie Boys came on and Ryker immediately started head banging and clapping. So I guess that's on the list.

For awhile it was "1, 2, 3, 4" by the Plain White T's. Good choice.

More recently Jack has been requesting "Hit the Road Jack" by Ray Charles. Another good choice.

This morning Jack said "Mommy, can we have that one that was on first thing when we got in the car yesterday?" It took me a second, and then I remembered that it was "Stand By Me."

About 3/4 of the way through it Jack is beaming and goes "I really, REALLY like this song."

Then we got to school and he announced "I fink I will wuv dat song and 'Hit the Wode Jack' for my whole entire wife."

Spring Performance

My kids had their spring performance at school yesterday. Jack is a seasoned veteran of these. I've lost track, I think this might be his 4th performance? 5th? Bad mom.

This also marked the second time he's graduated. He graduated from pre-school last year but missed the cut-off for kindergarten, so he stayed at his same school. They kept him busy with other work, and feel like he's really completed kindergarten now, so he got to graduate again. Ironically, he had visited the kindergarten he'll attend next year that same morning. Visit kindergarten, wait seven hours, graduate from kindergarten.

The program was awesome, as usual. The kids are hilarious. If you're having a bad day, go watch some tiny kids singing and dancing. Or crying, as the case may be.

Jack got to start things off. He stood in front of everyone and said in a very loud and clear voice "Pweeze stand for da national anfum." Adorable.

Jack sang and danced. I have videos but they won't upload so you'll have to wait. Ryker mostly stuffed his bandana in his mouth and waved at us.

Here are some pics. They're blurry.

An Infant or a Drop-Leaf Table

One of my coworkers has dubbed me The Most Baby-Crazed Person Who Does Not Want a Baby that she knows.

It's true.

I honestly do NOT want a baby. I'm done with being pregnant, being up at all hours, and being permanently attached to another human being. Our two boys keep us running enough, thank you very much. Plus I don't feel like moving into a zone defense. I made a living, while playing basketball, at finding the holes in zone defenses and exploiting them. (Follow that, all you non-sportos?) I'm not really in the mood to perpetually have one of my children find themselves "open."

What I want is to hug babies up until they begin to cry or need a diaper changed or start talking-back. Then I want to hand them off to their proper caregiver.

I also need something NEW. I'm nesting, for no good reason. I am cleaning and purging and organizing and threatening to paint several of the rooms in the house. I told Chuck that instead of a baby, I'd take a four new bar stools and a dining set.

Is that black-mail? Threatening your husband with another child, or at the very least a whiny baby-crazed wife, if he does not buy you new home furnishings?

Bull Riding 2011

We have a tradition with Uncle Ry Ry and Grandpa Mark where we all meet up in Des Moines, IA in May for Professional Bull Riding (PBR). The first year was a learning experience for us, wherein we learned that everything we thought we knew about bull riding (and the treatment of the bulls) was wrong. Now we've been several times and sort of feel like we know what's going on.

We drove down on Friday evening and checked into the hotel. The boys were a dream in the car. Traveling is getting easier as the boys get bigger. DVDs can be watched all the way through now, as opposed to the 20 minutes they used to last. We also had the aid of our new Family Marble Jar. Each of us earns a marble for exceedingly good behavior, or random acts of kindness, or any other time Chuck and I feel like it. Once the jar is filled, we'll get to go to the Water Park of America. More on that later, I'm sure.

The hotel presented a first for the boys - Ryker was NOT in a crib, and the boys would share the foldout couch. I threatened life and limb if they got up in the night. Ryker got up anyway - four times. Oh well. Saturday we got up, had breakfast with Ry Ry and Grandpa and then walked around the largest farmer's market I have ever seen. Then the boys headed off on a shopping trip. They arrived back at the hotel with brand new cowboy hats. They were THRILLED.

Jack could not have looked MORE like a cowboy. It was hilarious. Ryker doesn't really have the same build as a rider, but looked adorable anyway.

Dinner was at an amazing steakhouse, where we had a private room and were treated like celebrities. Ry Ry was the amazing uncle he always is, taking the boys for walks around the restaurant whenever they asked. At one point he had Jack curled around his torso, in what he calls a Koala Hug, and was holding Ryker's hand walking through this fancy place.

As a side note of endorsement, if you ever are in Des Moines, you have got to go there - 801. I had an amazing filet and the yummiest mac and cheese I've ever had, along with an amazing cabernet.

From there we went to the arena. We had seats in the 3rd row. It was awesome. Grandpa had earplugs for Ryker, because the introductions are LOUD:

Ryker was entirely confused for the duration of the event. He was a good sport though. Jack loved it. At one point he was sitting in his seat, holding his hat high above his head. I told him he should probably lower it so the people behind him could see past him. He goes "but I want everyone to SEE IT." So proud of his new hat. I was in heaven because I have a slight crush on the rodeo clown, Flint. Love him.

The kids were up way past their bedtime but were angels the whole time. We got them in bed as fast as we could. At 3:30am I awoke to Jack standing next to me, sobbing. He said he was running to tell me something and forgot our door was closed. He ran straight into it. As I'm talking to him, I heard a "blah!" sound from the other room. I asked Jack what he was coming to tell me, and he goes "oh, Ryker is throwing up."

We got Ryker cleaned up, housekeeping got us new sheets, and they were back in bed 15 minutes later. We got through the 4 hour drive without further incident, and have some good stories to tell.

Thanks to Grandpa and Uncle Ry Ry for an amazing trip!!

Crickets

I just signed Jackson up for his first art class at the museum. I've been dying to do this but he wasn't old enough. He gets to come here for three hours a day, every day, for one week in July. We'll get him up here at lunch and then I can take him home with me. His class? Crazy About Crickets. "Let's take a journey to China, where crickets have been kept as pets for thousands of years. We'll take on a cricket's persona and illustrate a "day-in-the-life" story, telling about its adventures inside the museum."

How cute is that?

So he gets to go up in the galleries and look at art related to crickets, and then come down to the studios and make his own pet cage filled with clay crickets! He's apparently also going to illustrate poems he has written about bugs in a Chinese style. Ha! Good luck to the teachers with that one.

Anyway, I'm pumped. It's not until July. I can't wait!