Woo Woo V - Sing it me

Proof that:

1. The English alphabet only has 12 letters.

2. Anything is a musical instrument.

3. He actually DOES remember that song, he just wanted to make me sing on a video that I would later post for tens of readers to see.

Castle Sharing

We're working on the idea that Jack will have to share his "castle" with the brother-t0-be-named-later. Our friends Amy and Dave have graciously offered up their baby to be the practice round. Jack LOVES Baby Gabe (was convinced that was who was coming to live with us when I told him a baby was coming), so we stood a high chance of succeeding if Gabe was the guinea pig. (Sorry, Amy and Dave, for referring to your adorable boy as a rodent - I meant it in the best way possible.)

All in all I think it went well. Gabe came out of the day unharmed and Jack didn't throw a tantrum until everyone had left.

Question Brigade

The question brigade that Chuck spoke of in an earlier post has gotten increasingly persistent. Our ride home from daycare now goes something like this (every single day):

Jack: "Norma* huzmun** picking her up?" (*Miss Norma - teacher at daycare; **husband)
Momma: "It doesn't look like it."
J: "Where he is?"
M: "I don't know Bud, maybe at home."
J: "Why?"
M: "I don't know where he is, I'm just guessing."
J: "You pick me up?"
M: "Yes, I picked you up."
J: "Siddy Momma!"

Pause...

J: "We going dis way?"
M: "Yep, we're turning left."
J: "Why?"
M: "Because that's where our house is."
J: "Where Chri-sis Coo-coon at?" (Chrysalis Cocoon, his daycare)
M: "It's back there."
J: "Oh."

Pause...

J: "Deez people going home?"
M: "I don't know. I don't know these people. Some of them are probably going home though."

Pause...

J: "Kids singing coming up?"
M: "The songs we are listening to RIGHT NOW are kids singing."
J: "They coming up?"
M: "No, they aren't coming up - they are happening RIGHT NOW. Can you hear them?"
J: "Um, yeah!"
M: "Good."
J: "Momma, dat too loud?"
M: "No, it's just fine."
J: "What dat means?"
M: "It's not too loud or too soft. It's just fine."
J: "Um, actually, it too quiet."

Pause...

J: "Dat sidewalk?"
M: "Yep, that's the sidewalk."
J: "What dat means?"
M: "What does what mean?"
J: "Sidewalk. What dat means?"
M: "It's what people walk on next to roads."
J: "Why?"
M: "Because it's not safe to walk in the roads."
J: "Momma, you good diver?"
M: "Yes Bud."
J: "You Daddy's huzmun?"
M: "No, I'm Daddy's wife. He's MY husband."
J: "Daddy my huzmun?"
M: "No Jack, Daddy is your dad. Daddy is my husband and I'm his wife."
J: "Daddy your wife?"
M: "No."
J: "Daddy is Chuck Banjostrand?"
M: "Yes Bud."

Pause...

J: "My baby's momma going to read books?"
M: "Well, I'M the baby's momma, just like I'm your Momma."
J: Looks completely startled and on the verge of tears.

Pause...

J: "You woman?"

Questions persist throughout the evening, covering why people can only have 2 prunes at a time (a rule at the Banjostrand household), where Tugboat and Kitty and fictional characters' mouths and butts are, whether any number of named adults and kids wear underwear and whether those same people sleep in their beds all night, and whether I've gone to the bathroom and/or showered today. I'm a little afraid to take him into public places anymore - who knows what he'll start asking people he meets.

You are all forewarned, by the way.

Seriously - A Little Help Please

Okay, I know that everyone that has known Jack since he was born is smirking about our recent struggles - at least that's what some of the braver amongst you have told me. We have had a relatively easy road with him thus far. So I don't mean to complain or pretend that the night-wandering is really that bad. But for us, right now, it's serious.

My friend Laura put a post on her blog recently about a parenting situation they were dealing with. She solicited (and received) advice on the situation and I think she feels better and maybe got new ideas about how to think about the situation. So here is my semi-desperate and copycat plea...

Please, for the love of whoever you personally believe in, send us suggestions, stories, funny anecdotes, etc. related to the topic of Jack's complete refusal to stay in his room.

Our sanity depends on you. No pressure.

Things that go Squeak, Crshhhh, Padpadpad in the Night

I have been doing lots of number crunching and statistical analysis at work this week, so I thought I would do a little Jack Analysis as well.

Times Jack left his room from 8pm last night until 7am this morning: 13
Average escapes per hour: 1.18
Highest traffic time: 8-10pm (11 outings)
Average time out of room: 2 minutes
Average number of doors he opened, closed, slid, slammed or sat against per outing: 4
Average time between being caught and diving back into bed: 3 seconds
Percentage of times Daddy or Mommy snuck up and caught him: 61%

Here is what our house sounds like at night (with translations for those of you whose imaginations aren't the same as mine):

Squeeeeeeaaaaaakkkkk (Jack's door opening)
Crssssshhhhhh (Jack's door scraping across his carpet as he opens it)
Pad....pad....pad (Jack walking or jogging into the hallway)
Crssssshhhhhh (Chuck and my door opening slowly)
CLICK (Jack closing our door quickly)
padpadpadpadpadpad THUD (Jack sprinting to his room and diving onto his bed)
"You need to stay in bed." (Mommy or Daddy calmly setting expectations)
"Yah." (Jack agreeing.)

This is the abbreviated version. Variations (seen last night, among other times) include closing our door to keep Mommy locked into her own room, then sliding open the pocket door and walking to the gate to the downstairs, standing there for awhile, then coming back and getting caught by Mommy...
OR

Walking into Mommy/Daddy's room and hanging out in there for awhile while Mommy was in the kitchen, then turning around to find Mommy standing at the door of the bedroom, sprinting towards her, throwing a very effective stiff-arm at her leg to create enough space to run past and then diving into bed.

Most people's reactions to this is "Awww, that's so cute! He just wants to be around you more!" That would be a logical and sweet way of looking at it, unless you are around for the dreaded Morning After, which includes several rounds of "me gonna hit youuuuuu" being sung to us and then him hitting us (at least we're warned). Then "quiet time" (sort of like time outs), then demands for stickers, explanations that you have to EARN your stickers, then more hitting. Somehow this morning he wove into the Raga a new element - walking around with socks in one hand and six toddler spoons in the other, which somehow deteriorated into three spoons in one hand, two on the floor, one missing, one sock in the other hand, other sock missing - all while rolling on the ground and crying.

God Bless Coffee.

Weesa

Happy Birfday Weesa! Wuv, Jackson

The evolution of question…

As Jackson increases his mastery of the English language and develops higher cognitive abilities, it poses more and more difficult situations for us. A good example of this is the insight of his questions.

Jackson’s questions started out with trying to understand what actions people or things were taking. These questions typically took the form of, “What dat?” These questions were easy to answer because typically, whatever it was resided in our house or was rather pedestrian. As time went on, simply describing what things were grew boring. Now, it was time for action! “What dat lady/man/thing doing?” Once again, typically we knew what he was point at was so we could easily describe what it did. These questions did not really stretch the minds of his parents, making life easy.

This all came to an abrupt end recently. No longer satisfied with basic definitions of objects and actions, Jackson now needs to understand the essence of his world. As he moves beyond the elementary physical being of objects, his curiosity deepens to what these objects mean. “What dat mean?”

These questions, if you’re lucky, can be explanatory in nature.

“Me want my window down.”
“No, you will get awfully cold with the window down.”
“What ‘awfelwee’ mean?”
“Uh, it’s a modifier…it means ‘very’ or ‘a lot’ (with required swirling hand motion)”
“What ‘very’ mean?”
Etc….

But, there are those times when one is not so fortunate.

“Let’s wash our hands.”
“Too hot?”
“No, the water is fine.”
“What water mean?”

How do you explain what water is to a two year old? You and I know it’s a “binary compound of one oxygen and two hydrogen molecules that occurs at room temperature as a clear colorless odorless tasteless liquid; freezes into ice below 0 degrees centigrade and boils above 100 degrees centigrade; widely used as a solvent.” But explaining that to Jackson would open a can of worms that would never be sorted out.

So, what does water mean?

“Well, water does not mean anything, but it’s something we use everyday. We clean with it, we drink it and we…..wash our hands with it.”

Apparently that was an expectable answer because we commenced the hand washing.

I know that as Jackson grows, his ability to comprehend and process information will grow with him, but I am hoping that his existential question growth ends here.

Things Jack Has Decided

1. Mornings go like this: 6:40 a.m. is wake up time - EXACTLY 6:40. He needs to open and shut his door several times, peeking into the hallway to see if we happen to just be hanging out right there. After that he can stand watching our room for any sign of movement, then come tearing in when he gets confirmation that we're awake. Then he comes on to the bed and can demand to watch something on TV about animals having birthdays. Not a clue what that means.

2. Africa is pronounced "Af-mallmerica" (said really quickly).

3. Bingo (the dog in the song) is actually spelled "I-B-I-N-G-O." Like iChat or iPhone. Beth - did you plant this in his head?

4. They sell apples and pretty much anything else you need at Home Depot. And he wants to go there. (Is anyone picking up on the materialistic tendencies here? I'm blaming it on Chuck, who is the world's most informed and dedicated consumer.)

5. You can't wear socks while eating breakfast.

6. You are considered "naked" if you show any skin aside from your face, hands and feet. Short sleeve t-shirts are especially offensive.

7. He has water in his finger.

8. Dadda is the foremost expert on anything tool-related, and he NEEDS Jack to help him with the nursery.

9. Sunglasses are always a great accessory, so long as they are worn upside down and match one's fake Crocs.10. Haircuts are well worth the fear factor since they reward you with things called "lollipops" and Mamma and Dadda fawn all over you for the next few hours.

Excitement Abounds

Some days just start out like this. Actually, I'm pretty sure I will NEVER have another day start like this, but it's worth the story.

Yesterday morning I had to take Chuck to work because Honda "dropped the ball," which is code for lieing to my husband about having a loaner car ready for him. For the record, they've dropped at least 4 balls in our 7 year relationship with them. Anyway, we packed everyone into the "Big Van" and had to explain the entire way why we were taking Dada to work. Jack thought it was pretty amusing, and also very confusing. We dropped him at work and headed off to our next stop - Jack's daycare. After a short discussion with Miss Kay about Jack's recent biting rampage (okay, not exactly a rampage), and the cutest hug ever from Claudia, my officemate Rachael's daughter who now attends Chrysalis also, I headed off to work with Rachael right behind me.

Just another day.

I saw a police man and police tape and a cruiser blocking the street I normally park on right outside the museum I work at.

Thought #1: Maybe the Dalai Lama decided to come here, or the president, so they are blocking it off.

I kept going to the next street and went north. From that street you can see through the campus to the street I normally go on - there were ambulances, police cars, etc.

Thought #2: Dalai Lama got sick.

I turned east to come in front of the building - news crews and their vehicles were lined up all along that road.

Thought #3: Slow news day.

Continue to the only parking lot the multitude of cops would let us in to. Notice that about a 6 block radius has been blocked off. Park, get out, walk up the hill towards the museum and see my coworkers all walking straight past the police tape. See National Guard troops and a SWAT vehicle.

Run under sniper fire from my helicopter with Chelsea at my side. Oh wait, no, that's not how it happened.

Thought #4: Someone stole our Van Gogh.

Get inside, coworker walking with me explaining that it's a hostage situation in a residence near our building with a gun that had been fired earlier that morning, etc.

Thought #5: Does this museum EVER close?! I know Minnesotans aren't nearly as liberal with their snow days as St. Louisans are (read - I have not had one thing cancelled in the 11 years I have been up here), but come on - SNIPERS ON THE ROOFTOP?

The negotiators got the suspect to come out peacefully awhile later, ending the standoff.

No harm done, except my car was parked much farther away than I'm used to, and I scared my mom half to death by 1) calling her and asking her to get on her computer and find out why police were barricading the museum off, 2) not picking up my cell when she called back the first time, and 3) picking up the second time but losing the connection and hanging up on her without saying anything. It was exceptionally bad timing considering I called her a few weeks ago when I was REALLY sick with the stomach flu and I feebly said "I'm dying" into the phone, intending to follow that up with an explanation of my awful flu - except my phone cut out and dropped the call right after that. Oops.

Things That We Say

Things we have said in the last 3 days to Jack:

1. "No, the kids from the choir do NOT come from the Mall of America."

2. "That's why you don't get on and off of the potty - because poopies fall out of your butt."

3. "Why do you want to put applesauce on Daddy's back? That's weird."

4. "Yes, our baby will have arms. Two of them."

5. "No you can't have more fruit snacks." (This made the list not because it's funny, but because Chuck and I have had to say it AT LEAST 30 times a day. I'm not exaggerating.)

On a totally different subject - does anyone want to start a boy's clothing store with me? Chuck, Jack and I spent about 5 hours this weekend looking for a pair of shoes for Jack. Nothing special, just a pair of shoes that actually fit. Every store we went to had roughly 3 times as many girls shoes as boys. Also no sales people would help us. We were mad. I still am, I guess.

I think my Monday posts are becoming a forum for me to vent about things. Sorry 'bout that.

Short Update on Farm Babies

The baby chicken phenomenon has escalated in our house. I believe Ryan left with around 2 dozen baby chickens made out of construction paper in his suitcase. Then once he was gone Jack made two more for me and said that they had names. I asked what the first one's name was and he said that he wrote it "right dare" and pointed to the circles he doodled on it. I said "yes, but what does it say? What's his name?" and Jack replied "ummm...Uncle Ry Ry Loves Me." That's the name of the chicken.

Later he made two for Chuck (apparently baby chickens are only born in pairs), who was unsure what to do with them. Jack said for him to pet them, which he did. Then Chuck asked what else he was supposed to do with them and Jack said "be nice my chickens."

Possible careers for Jack based on his interests/obsessions thus far:
bus driver, engineer, piano/hatar player, police man at Mall of America (where he thinks the African children live), and now...chicken farmer.

Jack's new cousins (?)

I apologize in advance for the length of this post, but I have a ton to say about our latest adventure (and lots of pictures)!

It started when Uncle Ry Ry came. We all hung out before Grandmommy had to head back to St. Louis. Jack made them play a lot of play-doh.

Then Uncle Ry Ry, Chuck, Jack and I loaded up the car and headed to Eau Claire, WI. What's in Eau Claire, you might ask? Ummm, pretty much nothing usually, but last night there happened to be a particular attraction - The African Children's Choir! In Eau Claire - strange, I know.

So for those that don't know, Uncle Ry Ry happens to work with the tour for the choir. He is known to them as Uncle Ryan, and the kids and staff LOVE him (this picture is of Ryan hugging Martin, who is particularly fond of him)...I've heard so much about the choir and the kids, and they finally came within driving distance of the Twin Cities! They performed at UWEC. We got there for the sound check, which means we got to run around the stage (Jack's favorite), look at the props, and meet the kids. Ryan introduced us as "Auntie Jamie, Uncle Chuck and ..... Jackson" because he couldn't figure out what to say about him. I think I'll call him their cousin. Then we sat in the front row and watched them do their run-through. Jack sat the entire time staring at the stage. Then we ran to get dinner, came back and saw the "real" show.

Uncle Ry Ry held Jack for the whole show in the back so he could see better. Chuck and I got to sit in the audience and have the closest thing we've had to a date in a long time! They only came back to our seats for the final song, during which the kids come down the aisles and pick people to dance with. They knew where we were sitting, and Suzan made a bee-line for us. She pulled Jack out, held his hands and danced with him in front of everyone. It was awesome! He was clearly in awe of the entire show.

"Awe" doesn't even start to describe the state I was in the entire time. I don't know if it is my excessive hormones or just the fact that these kids are amazing people who have seen unbelievable tragedies and remain the kindest, most gentle and hopeful people I know (probably it was a combination of both) - but I was profoundly moved.

Here's the website so you can learn more about them and listen to some of their music:

http://www.africanchildrenschoir.com/media/media.php?pageID=97

This link takes you to the page with a lot of the kids that we saw last night, but I highly encourage our dedicated readers to look at the home page, newsletters, etc. to learn about the work they do. I can't possibly summarize it all here.

Suzan is the last photo on the page I linked you to. She loved Jack - carried him around after the show for a long time. We hung out with the kids while they had their post-performance snack. Here are a few pictures...

This last picture has Martin burping his name into Jack's ear (a BIG hit with Jack), Suzan on the floor, and Ruthie sitting right behind me. Ruthie was one of my favorites (okay, I said that about every single child in the choir at one point or another). She's one of the older girls and has a prominent role in the show and in the choir in general - she really is motherly to the other kids. I loved her and she did a fantastic job. I can't remember the name of the child right next to Ruthie - maybe Ryan can help me with that. The one in the background with the pink headband is Travisan. She is both the tiniest little girl in the show AND the biggest firecracker! She went 110% all the time and I have no idea how her arms don't come off of her body while she's dancing - she's flinging them around THAT hard. She cracked us up.

Anyway, the entire experience was amazing - learning about the kids, watching Ry Ry doing what he does best (be an uncle - oh, and a tremendous producer and lighting designer), hanging out with my hubbie, son and brother all together, and being reminded of the fact that kids all around the world are so incredible and we have so much to learn from them all.

Farm Babies

We've had a great week! I'll have to do the recap in 2 posts because there's too much excitement for one post.

First, Grandmommy came up and we went to see the Farm Babies at the MN Zoo. I don't have the pictures on my computer, but I'll post them once I do. It was 65 degrees or something - amazing for Minnesota! Jack had a blast - keeps changing his answer about what was his favorite. So far he's named the baby goat, the cows, the baby cows, the pigs, the tractor, and the baby chickens.

The chicks (which he got to pet) seem to have made the biggest impression on him. He's been cutting the re-introduced construction paper into small pieces, coloring them with red circles, and carrying them carefully over to me saying they are baby chicks and that I'm supposed to "pet their backs."

This visit was much improved over last year's, when he was banned from petting the baby bunnies because he was either hitting them or pulling on their fur, I can't remember (and both are feasible). He was much better this time. The journey came to an end when he started demanding multiple bags of fruit snacks, which has become his signal that he's ready for a nap.

Jack has been saying ever since that he wants farm babies. I hope he isn't serious.

2 years, 6 months, 15 days, 9 hours, 14 minutes

I guess all good things must come to an end, or something cliched like that. This one, though, I was really hoping to avoid.

Guesses?

It took Jack 2 years, 6 months, 15 days, 9 hours and 14 minutes to figure out that he can actually leave his room in the night and come find us. Up until that point, he never once even left his bed. He'd just wait patiently until we came in to get him. We would frequently find him sitting up in bed waiting. Sometimes he would kick his mattress so it made a loud noise, or yell "Momma, Dadda, me want you come in here now!" but he NEVER got out of bed.

This morning around 5:20am he decided that enough was enough, and he came into our room to tell me he had a runny nose. I helped him and then put him back in bed and he stayed there until I went in to get him at a normal time. So all in all I shouldn't complain.

Here's what I CAN complain about (right?)...The following in a timeline of my morning so far:

• 5:20am - Jack embraces his independence.
• 6 something - Chuck's phone vibrates forever, waking me up again.
• A few minutes after 6 something - Chuck's phone vibrates to indicate there's a message.
• Maybe 30 minutes later - Chuck's phone vibrates again
• 7 something - Something beeps loudly, waking me up again. My alarm should have woken me up already, but its volume was accidentally turned off.
• 7:40am - Wake Jack up, he's crying and miserable with a cold
• 7:45am - Try to find the missing thermometer to take his temperature. Go to the living room to find it, answer my mom's phone (she's here with us) and talk to Ryan (brother) who says that American Airlines confiscated the computer he's bringing us so it had to be checked instead of carried on. Find thermometer while talking to Ry Ry.
• 7:48am - Hand phone to Mom so I can take Jack's temperature. He wails and later tells me he's sad when I take him temp. It was normal though - victory.
• 7:55am - Chuck calls in sick to work. He NEVER calls in sick, so this is a big deal.
• 8:00am - Get Jack settled into his highchair for breakfast. Look out window to see snow. Fantastic.
• 8:45am - Finally get out door with Mom, Jack and my new box of oatmeal for work.
• 9:00am - Stop at Caribou drive through to get coffee because there wasn't any at home. Ask the man to put it in 2 cups (meant to be double-cupping to keep it warmer). Man misunderstands and splits my coffee into two cups.
• 9:10am - Drop Jack at daycare. Have to tackle him to get a hug.
• 9:20am - Pull into work, Mom starts to switch seats with me to drive car back home while I try to consolidate my two cups of coffee into one cup to carry it in. Notice that the man actually poured me two full cups of coffee. Nice man. But I can't consolidate them. I decide to carry both inside and leave my oatmeal for tomorrow. Squeeze cup #1 too hard and it explodes, spilling coffee all over me and the seat. Decide to leave that cup in the car and only take cup #2 inside.
• 9:30am - Have to get my friend Hannah to Tide Pen me because my coffee is all over the right cuff of my borrowed white maternity shirt. Curse myself for being SO right-handed that I can't do this myself.
• 10am - Notice that my coffee is cold. Decide that I'll blog instead of work for awhile.

Lists

Random lists:

Jack's favorite things to eat for dinner:
1. breakfast bars
2. "chicken yatties with katchup - LOT of them!" (waves his arm in gigantic circles over his tray like he's stirring something)
3. apples
4. craisins (which might mean craisins and might mean raisins so you have to be holding both of them so he can point)

Jack's top questions about our new baby:
1. "Will our baby have potty at HIS house?"
2. "Will our baby know how to dance?"
3. "Will our baby wear my tennis shoes?"

Reasons my officemate Rachael thinks I'm a psychopath:
1. I have 2 tattoos and plans for 2 more (sorry Mom) and according to Rachael there are studies that show that people who have 3 or more tattoos have more psychopathic tendencies. http://www.priory.com/tattoo.htm
2. Spending lots of time on the internet or on computers in general is a manifestation of a psychiatric disorder.
*Rachael wants me to write that she doesn't really think I'm a psychopath, she just wants to share tidbits of information. She has also mentioned that this is just one article but there are others that support this argument.
**I want to mention that these tidbits of information have both come in the last 24 hours.

People who give Jack books, and who he is convinced have written messages in every book he owns that say "To Jackson, Wuv ________":
1. Grandmommy (Grandma Kelly)
2. Gampa (Grandpa Mueller)
3. Uncle Ry Ry (Uncle Ryan)
4. Gamma Body Niece (Grandma Bernice)
5. Uncle Bob (Uncle Bob)

Foods I'm obsessed with this pregnancy:
1. jalapeno poppers
2. fried pickles (you can get these at the State Fair and I haven't had any throughout the pregnancy but I really, really want them)
3. sparkling pear juice

Jack's favorites:
1. Candidate = Barack Obama (he made me read him part of an article in a marketing/technology magazine about Barack this morning)
2. Beatles song = In My Life (it's actually MY favorite but Jack kept insisting it was his favorite too)
3. Part of Shrek = where Donkey and Shrek enter Dulac and the information booth sings to them
4. Accessory = red sunglasses across his forhead or on backwards
5. Nickname for himself = Jackpants (given by either Allison or Andrea at daycare, but he says they both call him that)
6. Thing to make out of play-doh = Miss Norma's husband